


Piece by Piece

by SuperEllen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (highlights on the "angst" part), (mostly) Canon Compliant, Akaashi Keiji is Bad at Feelings, Akaashi Keiji is a Good Friend, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Matchmaking, Bokuto Koutarou is in Denial, Bokuto ships Kuroaka like the oblivious moron that he is, Car Accident Aftermath, Depressed Bokuto Koutarou, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional pain, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grown Men Crying, Have I mentioned Angst?, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Jealousy, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Mess, M/M, Mentions of Past Bokuaka, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Past Kurolisa, Physical Pain, Pining, Platonic Cuddling, Post-Canon, Post-Time Skip, Psychological Trauma, Roommates, Severely injured characters, Sharing a Bed, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, and for a couple paragraphs Kuroaka almost happens for real
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:35:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 44,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28648422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperEllen/pseuds/SuperEllen
Summary: That morning, the paper titled’Olympic gold medalists almost killed in tragic car accident’. Kuroo kept reading the title of the article over and over again, until he couldn't take it anymore. With a quick movement of his hands, he ripped the tear-stained paper to pieces. He still hadn't even read the article itself; he wasn't sure he had the courage to see what it said. At least he hoped that Iwaizumi had been able to contain the leak of news, somehow.An accident brings Bokuto to the brink of death. It's the end of his volleyball career, and Kuroo just hopes it won't be the end of his life as well. Piece by piece, Kuroo wants to make things better, because he can't accept to see the man he's secretly loved for most of his life just dissolve in front of his eyes, and Akaashi wishes nothing more than to help him get there. As for Bokuto, he needs to fight in order to recover, and to find a new purpose in a life where he doesn't have volleyball anymore.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji & Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji/Udai Tenma, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 74
Kudos: 79





	1. Kuroo

**Author's Note:**

> All the medical information in this story comes from 16 seasons of Grey's Anatomy spiced up by my own imagination to suit what was needed in order to keep the plot going. In other words, there's probably no medical accuracy whatsoever, so bear with me. If you have any actual medical knowledge, please don't judge.
> 
> Also, in chapter 17 there’s an attempt at non-consensual kissing. It's quick (like a short paragraph or so) and it doesn't bear any consequences for any of the characters, that's the reason why I didn't put it in the tags, but I just wanted to get it here in the notes so you know what you're getting into from the beginning.
> 
> Mature rating is because of the themes discussed. There's close to no sexual content or vulgar language, but I think that what the characters go through still needs to be handled with care. And I warn you: if you tear up easily, then prepare your tissues before starting to read because you'll need them pretty much the entire time. This will be a bumpy ride!
> 
> I tagged the story as _mostly_ canon compliant, because I guess there is one thing that definitely isn't canon compliant in here. I know that the Black Jackals are a team based in Osaka, but for the story to work I really needed everyone to be in Tokyo, so I... sort of moved the Black Jackals? Yes, I guess we can put it this way. Therefore, in this story the Black Jackals are in Tokyo. It's not the first time I move the Black Jackals to Tokyo in a fic for plot reasons, I hope this won't be too disturbing for people who like to stick with only canon facts.  
> Also, a few details about the families of the characters have been revealed after I had already finished writing this entire story, so that part of course won’t be canon compliant either. Hinata moving to Brazil before the 2021 Olympics is also pretty new info, so in the fic he will be moving there later, only after the Olympics. But I swear that everything else is as canon compliant as possible.
> 
> Another detail that I want to point out is that in canon we don’t know who wins the Olympics, so I decided that Japan won. For as much as I would have wanted to see Oikawa finally win against Ushijima and Kageyama, on the other hand we have _everyone else_ , and I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I had given Bokuto, Iwaizumi and all the other babies a defeat. So yeah, Japan is Olympic gold medal for volleyball, and not even Furudate himself will ever be able to convince me otherwise.
> 
> Each one of the 30 chapters in this story follows the point of view of a character. Most will follow either Kuroo or Bokuto (more Kuroo than Bokuto, actually), but there's a few from Akaashi's pov as well. To make things easier, I titled each chapter with the name of the character it will be following.
> 
> English is not my first language, so please bear with me. If you find any horrible mistakes, please let me know and I'll amend them immediately.
> 
> The story is already fully written and revised, meaning that I won't have any problems keeping up with regular updates. I will be uploading new chapters every week, on Saturdays. Maybe later on I might switch to updating twice a week, but I'm not sure. For now, let's keep it once a week.
> 
> After this pretty long premise, I'll leave you to the first chapter!

"Watch the ball! Don't flail your arms like that!" Kuroo yelled from the ground, where he'd just dived in order to receive the ball that was coming his way. In front of him, Lev turned around to face him, a confused expression on his face.

"This time I was sure I was going to stop him" the taller boy replied, sounding both guilty and confused.

A laugh came from the other side of the net. Bokuto was standing there, hands on his hips, cackling loudly. Beside him, Hinata was beaming with joy, while Akaashi really looked like someone who didn't want to be there, but still had a smug expression on his face. Kuroo stood up once again, taking a look at the two freakishly tall first-years he was sharing the court with.

"We don't have the body strength to stop those spikes" Tsukki commented, making Kuroo frown.

"Oh no, you do. You just have to position your arms the right way, and I can assure you that you can knock that stupid owl down a peg or two" Kuroo responded to the other's concern. At his words, Lev started to get excited.

Training camp was fun, but the best part of the day was always what came after the regular practice matches. The best part was the extra practice he was doing with his friends, and how much fun they were having while playing together. In addition to that, blocking Bokuto's spikes was helping him improve a lot. And the sensation he felt every time he successfully stopped one of those spikes was impossible to describe. When he didn't manage to stuff the spike, however, Bokuto's whole face brightened with pure ecstasy, and Kuroo couldn't stop himself from smiling every time it happened. Because Bokuto was beautiful and dazzling, and seeing him happy could make something inside Kuroo's chest _purr_.

Another thing that Bokuto was, however, was out of reach. Kuroo had been pining after him for a while now, and he didn't think he was ever going to work up the courage to tell him. Yet he still enjoyed those moments, in which he could spend some real quality time with the person he had feelings for. They were pretty close friends, but for some reason it still felt like they didn't share enough moments together. That was the reason why Kuroo always cherished those evenings at training camp.

It was Akaashi's turn to serve, and he hit the ball with an accuracy that Kuroo found unnerving. His serve wasn't powerful, and the ball didn't have any strange effect, but it was aimed perfectly towards a spot right behind Lev, and Kuroo had to run and dive in order to receive it. He knew that neither Lev nor Tsukki had the reflexes or the experience to be able to get a ball like that, yet. Still too young, skills yet to be developed. But damn, Akaashi was tricky.

He managed to receive it though, and as he moved to stand up again, he watched the ball's movement as both Tsukki and Lev got under it, probably neither of them sure about what to do in order to set it for the other to spike. Kuroo wanted to yell at them, give them orders on what to do, but something prevented him from producing any sound when he opened his mouth.

There was a ringing in the entire gym, loud enough to bounce around the walls and make Kuroo's head explode in pain. He even fell on his knees, holding his head in his hands, feeling nauseous because he couldn't concentrate on anything else with that annoying ringing. Yet he seemed to be the only one hearing it. The others, actually, were still playing, not even noticing the fact that he'd fallen.

* * *

Before he knew, Kuroo jolted to a sitting position, panting loudly. He blinked a few times, attempting to adjust his eyes to the darkness surrounding him, trying to see something. Trying to remember where he was, and what the hell was happening. Bed. He was in his bed, and his phone was ringing. That was the sound that had woken him from a dream he didn't quite remember anymore, but that had probably been a good one. Feeling his muscles still stiff from sleep, he patted the nightstand looking for his phone, and when he brought it in front of his eyes, the screen's light was bright enough to blind him.

He barely managed to read the time, seeing that it was almost 2 in the morning. And then he noticed the name of the caller on the screen. _Hinata Shouyou_. Why was Hinata, of all people, calling him at that time of night? He couldn't think of any possible reason for that to happen, other than the younger man butt dialing him, and for a moment he remained bewildered in contemplation of his phone. Then the ringing stopped, and the screen now showed one missed call. He was toying in his head with the idea of going back to sleep, when his phone started ringing once more. It was Hinata again. It only meant one thing: the call was intentional, and whatever the shrimp wanted to tell him definitely couldn't wait. He sighed, before finally answering the phone.

"Hello, Hinata?" he said, his voice low and rough, definitely tainted with sleep. He could hear loud noises on the other side of the line. Some yelling, and what seemed to be the sound of a siren. Unconsciously, his heart started beating faster.

"Kuroo-san! You're awake!" he heard yelling so loudly from the other end of the line that he had to get his phone away from his ear in order not to lose an eardrum in the process. Well, now he was definitely awake.

"What's happening?" he tried to ask, his voice still not at its best, but slowly getting back to normal the more he used it. As he was finishing his question, however, Hinata started talking over him.

"We were in the car, but there was an accident and now the hospital, and... shit, please come, it's Bokuto-san..." Hinata blurted out, and before he had even finished talking Kuroo was already on his feet, pulling random clothes out of the closet.

He was trying to take deep breaths in order to calm down, but how could he? What Hinata was telling him was only sending him into a greater panic. Because the only words he'd been able to understand were car, accident, hospital and Bokuto. He didn't want to know what had happened to Bokuto, because he was too afraid that the news was bad. After all, why else would Hinata have called him in the middle of the night? Good news could have waited until morning. At 2 am, however, the news could have only been bad.

As Kuroo got dressed, he asked Hinata to try to explain a little better what had happened, and the other complied, to an extent. He didn't seem, however, to be exactly able to provide good enough information, as his narration of the events was not in chronological order, and filled with other random stuff. The younger man was probably in tremendous shock, because from what Kuroo had been able to understand from his tale, Hinata had been in that accident as well.

From what he gathered, Bokuto and Hinata had been in the car together, going back home after a party that the entire national team had attended. It had been only a few days since the Olympics had ended, and Japan had been able to win the gold medal in men's volleyball. It was indeed a reason to celebrate, and the Olympic team had been doing just that for the past week or so, going to parties and having fun. Apparently, Bokuto and Hinata were coming back from one of those parties, when the car that Bokuto was driving got hit by some random driver who burned a red light, speeding like crazy. The impact had thrown their car out of the road, flipping it over a couple of times, before it stopped upside down. Hinata had gotten hit pretty bad, but Bokuto had taken the worst of it, since the other car had hit them on the driver's side.

Kuroo couldn't get that horrifying image out of his head, as he jumped into his car at 2 in the morning and sped through Tokyo's streets. Hinata had told him the name of the hospital where they'd been taken, and that was exactly where Kuroo was heading, his heart pounding like crazy somewhere in the vicinity of his throat. His hands were sweaty as he gripped the steering wheel harder. No, no, no. It wasn't happening, it couldn't be real.

Kuroo shook his head, trying his best to focus. He couldn't lose concentration while driving, or he might as well become the cause of the next accident himself. No, he needed to keep his mind clear and think that everything was going to be alright. That was the only thing that could keep him going, as he entered the hospital's visitors' parking lot. He badly parked his car taking two spots and didn't give a damn about it, when on a normal day he would have cursed at the idiot parking like that. Then he started running towards the emergency room, looking for Hinata. And for Bokuto, of course.

"Hinata Shouyou and Bokuto Koutarou. I need to see Hinata Shouyou and Bokuto Koutarou, now!" he quickly said to a nurse when he got there. The young woman gave him a concerned stare, taking in his disheveled clothes and his worse than usual bedhead. He imagined that he should have looked pretty bad, for the nurse to eye him like that, but he didn't care.

"Are you family?" she asked him, hinting a smile in his direction. Kuroo took a deep breath, because he would have wanted to say that yes, he was Bokuto's family, but he wasn't. They were just friends, and friends couldn't be legally considered as family. He had to shake his head, exhaling with disappointment. At that reaction, the expression on the nurse's face changed, becoming way more rigid.

"Then you can wait over there with the other reporters" she spat out, pointing at a waiting room where four people were sitting nervously, probably wearing the first thing they had been able to get their hands on. "Vultures... how have they even got the news so fast?" he heard the nurse mumble in a low voice as she turned her back to him, getting busy with a few forms she was working on. That definitely got Kuroo mad, because how could she have mistaken him for a common reporter who wanted to write a story about the accident?

"I'm not a reporter, I'm their friend! Hinata called me!" he tried to say, hoping to make the nurse understand that he didn't have time for that kind of bullshit. He needed to be allowed inside the emergency room. He needed to get to Hinata and find out Bokuto's condition. He needed to see Bokuto. He was breathing heavily, feeling panic course through his body.

"Sure thing, dear. Just like the others said" the nurse replied, definitely unimpressed, and absolutely not inclined to believe him. After that, she left her desk to answer questions from another person who had approached her, and Kuroo remained there completely bewildered. Apparently, reporters had already found out that two of the greatest stars of the national volleyball team that won the Olympic gold medal had been in a car crash, and they were stalking them at the hospital, hoping to find information to write about it. Kuroo felt disgusted by their behavior.

That, however, complicated things for him as well. He'd really been called there, but since the reporters had invented stupid excuses in hope to be let inside, the nurses were suspicious of anyone requesting to see the two volleyball players. That meant that there was only one thing left for Kuroo to do. With wobbly hands, he took out his phone and called Hinata. That wasn't an effortless task either, because his fingers were shaking so much that he kept tapping the screen in the wrong places, opening the wrong app and almost calling the wrong person at least twice.

When he finally managed to call Hinata back, he brought the phone to his ear. It rang a few times, but there was no answer. What if they were taking Hinata in for some exam and he had to let go of his phone? What if the younger man had suffered some injuries that were more serious than what he had anticipated? There could have been a million explanations for Hinata not answering the phone, but considering the situation, Kuroo could only think of the worst possible options. He was already starting to panic, ready to hang up and force his way inside the ER, when finally Hinata answered.

"Kuroo-san?" the volleyball player said, and Kuroo felt immediately better. At least he could now exclude the possibility of Hinata dying in the last fifteen minutes from his list of worst case scenarios.

"Hinata! I’m at the hospital but they're not letting me in, they think I'm one of the reporters who want to cover your accident" he immediately said, a tone of urgency in his voice.

"Where are you?" he heard from the other end of the line. Those words were followed by the echo of running footsteps. He could also hear a few "Hinata-san, please go back to bed!" that he imagined being utterly ignored.

"In the waiting room outside the ER" Kuroo replied, his heart hammering so hard in his chest that he felt like he could hear it perfectly.

"I'm coming to you!" Hinata said, and a moment later the double door of the ER was slammed open, attracting the attention of pretty much everyone who was there, Kuroo included. And there, phone in one hand and waving the other in the air, stood Hinata.

Kuroo almost had a heart attack when he saw the younger man. He looked like utter crap, his clothes half ripped and covered in blood. He could see what looked like bandages sticking out of the rips in his clothes, and his face was dirty with dried blood. He also had a couple of surgical band-aids on his face. What caught Kuroo's attention more than anything else, however, was the bandage around his head, which was stained with blood, meaning that the younger man was probably hurt badly and the wound hadn't stopped bleeding by the time the doctors had managed to bandage his head. Dried blood also got locks of his orange hair to stick together in a very creepy way. Kuroo gulped hard when he saw the condition Hinata was in. Because if he was the one who had come out of it in the better condition, he didn't want to imagine how Bokuto was.

"Kuroo-san!" Hinata yelled at him, and Kuroo could hear his voice both from the receiver of the phone and across the room. He hung up the phone and tried to make his way towards the other man.

"Hinata!" he called back to make the other understand that he'd seen him.

A couple of nurses noticed them, and they all tried to convince Hinata to go back inside. Also, his appearance had awoken the real reporters, who were already taking pictures of him and trying to approach him for an interview. Hinata, however, didn't seem to have even noticed them. A security guard took care of keeping the reporters at bay, while a nurse tried to stop Kuroo and Hinata from getting to each other. They, however, were both very persistent, and they managed to meet halfway.

Kuroo was surprised when Hinata threw himself at him, hugging his torso and hiding his face against Kuroo's chest, considering that they still had a pretty consistent height difference. Kuroo tried to gently pat Hinata's back, and that was when he realized that the other was shaking. He was... sobbing. That was the first time he'd ever seen that little bundle of sunshine so desperate.

"They said he's in a coma, I think he's going to die!" Hinata let out with a whine full of sincere pain, and Kuroo felt a strong sting in his eyes. No, it wasn't possible. Bokuto couldn't be dying just like that! Hinata had to be wrong, he had to have misunderstood the situation. Considering how devastated he sounded, however, Kuroo felt himself believing what the other was saying.

"Can you take me to him?" he tried to ask, but his voice came out broken. Hinata let go of him and looked Kuroo in the eyes, nodding slowly.

"Akaashi-san is coming too. Let's wait for him, then I'll take you both inside" the younger man stated. He looked tired, probably he was in a lot of pain as well. He seemed to be completely deflated, making him look even shorter. The nurses had finally understood that there was a reason why Kuroo had insisted on seeing Hinata and Bokuto, and they had finally stopped trying to keep Kuroo and Hinata apart. Security, moreover, had managed to throw the reporters outside, even though some of them had been able to take a few pictures before being shown to the door.

The wait for Akaashi wasn't long, but it felt eternal. Kuroo's heart was hammering in his chest, as he was sitting side by side with Hinata in the waiting room. Luckily there weren't any other people there, after the reporters had been sent away, so they were able to have a little privacy. Kuroo kept fidgeting with his phone, not really doing anything. He opened a few apps and then closed them again, not actually interested in using them, just needing to keep his hands busy. His vision was completely blurry, and it took him a few minutes before he realized that he was silently crying. His cheeks were wet, and his mind occupied with thoughts of dying Bokuto.

It only took about fifteen minutes before the entrance door opened again, three people rushing inside. Akaashi and Bokuto's parents. Well, shit. He'd never even considered the idea of seeing them there, but the moment his eyes fell on Bokuto's mother he couldn't stop a sob from coming out. Akaashi and Bokuto's father looked terrified, while Bokuto's mother was already wrecked. Kuroo looked at Hinata, silently asking him if they knew about the situation. The younger man slowly shook his head. Well, crap. Things were going to get even worse.

Kuroo stood up and took a few steps towards the newcomers. Then he stopped and walked back, helping Hinata get up. That brief wait, after having run to meet him, had taken its toll on the professional volleyball player, who was now way weaker than before, and probably unable to get up on his own. Kuroo even had to help him take the first few steps, before the other could manage to continue on his own.

"Hinata-kun! Kuroo-san!" Akaashi called in their direction. Kuroo let go of Hinata at that point, and they both started walking side by side.

"Tetsurou, you're here too!" Bokuto's mother cried, before throwing her arms around him and sobbing against his chest. That left Kuroo completely unable to understand how to react, but at the same time it also broke his heart. She was already crying this hard, and she didn't even know he was in a coma, probably dying.

As they all started walking through the waiting room and towards the entrance of the emergency room, Kuroo had an arm wrapped around Bokuto's mother, who was still sobbing against him. Bokuto's father and Akaashi were asking Hinata for details regarding what had happened, and Kuroo could hear the younger man tell them about the accident. However, he didn't mention Bokuto's conditions.

This time the nurses didn't stop any of them, especially when Hinata told them that two of them were Bokuto's parents, and the entire group was allowed inside. The moment they got in, a couple of angry doctors stepped in front of them and reprimanded Hinata for leaving the bed, considering that he had a concussion. Hearing those words, Kuroo stared at Hinata in disbelief. Was he crazy? He couldn't just walk around the hospital with a concussion! If Kuroo had known from the beginning the severity of Hinata's injuries, he would have sent him back to bed immediately.

The doctors forced Hinata to sit in a wheelchair, in order to get carried back to the examination room to complete his checkup. The moment he sat down, Kuroo could see the other relax; probably he was finally letting go of the last of the adrenaline from the accident. A moment later he passed out. The entire group panicked at that sight, and a doctor kneeled down in front of him to check his pulse, immediately reassuring everyone that Hinata was fine, just exhausted. After that, he wheeled the young man away, while a second doctor kept escorting the rest of them towards a trauma room, where some other doctors were probably attending to Bokuto's injuries. Before they could be led inside, however, the doctor stopped them in order to explain the situation to the group.

"Before I let you inside, I need you to be aware of what you're going to see. Bokuto-san was unconscious when the paramedics pulled him out of the car, and he hasn't regained consciousness ever since. He's attached to a ventilator that's breathing for him, because for now he doesn't seem to be able to breathe on his own. He has sustained massive internal injuries, including a collapsed lung, as well as shattering his right femur and most of his ribs. As for now, we still can't rule out any permanent damage to his spine or his brain. We've managed to stabilize his conditions, but we need him to improve at least a little before we take him into surgery, because in his current conditions he's not strong enough to withstand the operation, even though he needs one. We can allow you to see him for a few minutes, then we'll be moving him to our intensive care unit" the doctor explained.

It felt incredibly surreal. The more the doctor talked, the less Kuroo could make sense of his words. On a rational level, he could understand what the situation was, medically speaking, but he still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that all of those things were happening to _Bokuto_. Bokuto's mother pulled away from him, going to seek her husband's comfort. Then the doctor opened the door, and he was still talking, probably explaining something, but Kuroo couldn't hear him anymore. Because in front of his eyes was a bed, and someone he could barely recognize as Bokuto was lying in it.

He remained paralyzed one step after passing the door, as Akaashi followed the doctor and Bokuto's parents inside. Kuroo couldn't move though, his body unable to take even a single step forward. He just remained frozen on the spot, his eyes wide open and staring in the direction of the bed. There were several machines around it, emitting different beeping sounds. There were all sorts of tubes sticking out of the body in the bed, including the big one coming out of his mouth that was attached to one of the machines. The ventilator, the one that was breathing for him and therefore keeping him alive.

The person in that bed didn't even look like Bokuto. He was completely battered, most of his face was swollen, and what Kuroo could see of his body was bandaged. His two-toned hair had turned dark red, probably because he'd been bleeding on it from both his face and his head while positioned upside down inside the car, waiting to be rescued. From what Kuroo had learned about the dynamics of the accident, Hinata had been able to crawl out of the car on his own at some point, but Bokuto had been unconscious the entire time, so he had just been hanging there upside down for several minutes while waiting to be extracted from the vehicle.

The sheer thought of that was incredibly painful, and just seeing Bokuto like that broke Kuroo's heart in a million little pieces. Soon after, the entire room was filled with the loud noise of someone crying with all the desperation in the world. Kuroo looked around to see where that horrible sound was coming from, and he only saw sadness on the faces of the other people as he met their eyes. Only when Akaashi walked towards him and hugged him, Kuroo realized that it had been _him_. Kuroo was the one who was crying like that.

It only seemed fitting, now that he thought about it. After all, he'd been in love with Bokuto for years. All that time he'd had feelings for one of his closest friends, yet he had kept them for himself. No one knew his secret, not even Kenma, even though he was sure that his best friend at least had a suspicion about it. He had never confessed his love to Bokuto because he was sure that it wouldn't have been fair, it would have just put the person he cared about the most into a very awkward position. And they could still be friends anyway, so by keeping his feelings for himself he'd just made sure not to ruin that friendship. But now, with Bokuto lying in a hospital bed and looking like he was already a corpse, Kuroo couldn't help but wonder: should he have confessed to Bokuto at some point in the past, after all?

He kept crying in Akaashi's arms until he felt all of his strength leave him. His legs were getting weak, and Akaashi's firm grip around his body was probably the only reason why he still hadn't fallen. His fists were clenched around Akaashi's sweatshirt, his face hidden against the other man's shoulder. He must have looked like an idiot at the moment, he knew that he needed to get a little composure back, but for some reason he wasn't able to. It was as if seeing Bokuto like that had given him the right to just give up, and stop caring about anything else that was happening.

After a couple of minutes, he barely noticed that the doctor was speaking in the distance, but he didn't hear what he was saying. He couldn't register anything that was happening outside of his desperation bubble, until he felt a delicate touch on his head, as a feminine hand caressed his hair. "Keiji, Tetsurou, you should say goodbye" were the first words he really heard.

Kuroo's head snapped up, turning towards Bokuto's mother. What did it mean that they had to say goodbye? People were only supposed to say goodbye to someone who was about to die, and Bokuto _couldn't_ be really dying, Kuroo would not accept it. Bokuto's father stepped beside his wife, wrapping an arm around her.

"The doctor said that if he makes it through the night, they'll be able to take him into surgery in the morning. But there's a chance he won't make it until morning" the older man explained, pain seeping through his words. "They're taking Koutarou to the ICU now. We'll be able to stay with him the entire night, but you two won't be allowed inside. If you want to say goodbye, this might be your last opportunity."

For some reason, Kuroo felt the need to punch Bokuto's father in the face. Why was he talking like he knew that his son was going to die? He wasn't going to die, he was going to survive the night and go into surgery in the morning, and then the doctors were going to fix him up and bring him back to normal! Everything was going to be just fine!

"Thank you" he heard Akaashi say, the man's voice almost cracking. "Kuroo-san" Akaashi then addressed him. At that point, Kuroo realized that he didn't have much of a choice. He needed to say goodbye to Bokuto, because people were saying that there was a chance he wasn't going to see him again. Of course Kuroo refused to believe that the other was going to die, but if for some reason he had really died, Kuroo would have never forgiven himself for not saying goodbye when he had the chance to do it.

With Akaashi still holding onto him, Kuroo approached the bed and only stopped beside Bokuto's head, trying to be careful not to bump into any of the machines he was attached to. Akaashi did the same, and for a few seconds the two of them just remained there in silence, looking at Bokuto as he lay in that hospital bed like a ghost of himself. After a little while, Akaashi moved first. He raised a hand and let it hover near Bokuto's face, probably looking for a spot that was safe to touch without risking to hurt the other man more. Then he laid that hand on Bokuto's temple, giving him a delicate caress.

"It's just another block, Bokuto-san. I know you can spike through it. You're the strongest person I've ever met" Akaashi whispered his encouragement. Those words hit Kuroo like a speeding train, making his heart ache even more. Quickly he turned to look at the man who still had an arm around him, and only then he noticed that Akaashi's glasses were fogged. On a closer inspection, he noticed that the man was crying. He'd been so concentrated on his own pain that he hadn't even realized that Akaashi must have been suffering as well.

Akaashi's goodbye to Bokuto was incredibly touching. When he was done, the man left his hand caress Bokuto's temple one last time, before he pulled back. "Your turn now" he whispered, taking a step back. Kuroo almost whined when Akaashi let go of him, because that touch had been the only thing able to ground him, to prevent him from slipping away from that horrifying reality.

Kuroo gulped, getting closer to Bokuto and bending a little over him, both hands carefully resting on the bed at each side of the other's head. What was he even going to say to Bokuto at that point? Was there even a chance that his friend was going to hear him, anyway? It was too much, too overwhelming. And that was exactly why Kuroo finally thought to screw it all. It was maybe his last chance, and he wasn't going to let it go to waste.

"I love you. I've been in love with you since high school. I never told you because I was a coward, but I'm telling you now. So please, _please_ , come back. I can't live without you" he finally confessed to Bokuto's unconscious body. His voice was broken because he'd been crying too much, but he still managed to regulate the volume at least a little. Luckily, the doctors and Bokuto's parents weren't close enough to hear his words. When he straightened up once again, however, the first thing he noticed was Akaashi's sad expression. The younger man seemed to be incredibly sorry for him. Which somehow made sense, because Akaashi had just basically heard Kuroo admit out loud how pathetic he was.

Akaashi didn't say a word, and Kuroo was grateful to him for that. Even more so when he felt an arm wrap around his back once again. A moment later, the other man was guiding him towards the door. As soon as they got out of the way, the doctors started moving the bed and some of the machines, while disconnecting some others. Then the bed was wheeled out of the room, Bokuto's mother following immediately after.

"We will let you know if anything changes. We have Keiji's number" Bokuto's father said, before trailing after his wife. That left Kuroo and Akaashi alone and in pain.

They stood there, by the entrance of the trauma room, for a few seconds in complete silence, before Akaashi was the first one to break it. "We should find somewhere to sit, the night is going to be long" he suggested.

Kuroo shook his head. "I need to find Hinata" he stated. Akaashi only nodded, and the two of them walked towards the nurse who was waiting for them outside the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the first chapter didn't hurt too much. ~~since it's just the beginning~~  
>  Any kind of feedback is always very much appreciated.
> 
> If you want to meet other people to talk about Bokuroo with, you can feel free to join the Bokuroo Discord server by clicking [HERE](https://discord.gg/4KARKrggjs). Everyone on the server really loves this ship, and from now on they will probably hate me for the amount of angst I’m going to put the boys through in this story XD ~~But I still don’t feel sorry at all.~~
> 
> If you want to throw hate at me, or vent about how much of a horrible person I am for doing this to our boys, you can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/SuperEllen4). I'll cherish all of your insults and use them to keep me warm at night! xD


	2. Kuroo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank everyone who decided to stop here and read the first chapter. And of course I appreciated the feedback you gave me! :)  
> I'm aware of the fact that the first chapter was absolutely painful. Not all of the chapters will have that level of pain, of course. Some of them will actually be _light_ , later on in the story. But for now, sorry, there's more pain coming your way. Even though it won't be as intense as in the first chapter, I guess.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy the reading! :)

As they walked out of the trauma room together, Kuroo was still holding onto Akaashi. During the years, they had never really been the best of friends; they barely talked, actually. All they had in common was volleyball; and Bokuto, of course. But for some reason Bokuto's accident was already bringing them closer, because Kuroo was sure he wouldn't have survived the last few minutes if he hadn't had Akaashi by his side. And he was sure he wasn't going to survive the rest of the night either, or whatever was coming after that.

There was a nurse right outside the door, waiting for them in order to escort them out of the emergency room and back to the waiting room. They'd been allowed to see Bokuto while he was still inside the ER, but now that he was being taken to the ICU, only his closest family could be with him, and they needed to leave. Kuroo hated that. They were the people closest to Bokuto, they should have been allowed to stay with him! But there was a third person who was close to Bokuto almost as much as the two of them, and said person was in that hospital as well, hurt from the same accident that had almost taken Bokuto away from them. That was the reason why Kuroo didn't want to leave without having been allowed to see Hinata again. If they couldn't stay with Bokuto, then they needed to stay with Hinata.

He told as much to the nurse, who eyed them with suspicion. But then the woman sighed and nodded, guiding the two of them outside the emergency room, yet not in the direction of the waiting room. On the contrary, they were going the opposite way.

"Hinata-san has been moved to a room on the fourth floor. You'll be able to stay with him for a while, but please make sure he doesn't get out of bed" the woman stated, as she walked in front of them through the corridors of the hospital.

If Hinata had been admitted and moved to a room, and they were also allowed to visit him, it meant that he wasn't in such a critical condition as Kuroo had initially feared. Probably his concussion wasn't excessively severe, then. Kuroo exhaled a sigh of relief when he heard those words. Akaashi thanked the nurse, and the two of them kept walking. They were marching side by side, not hugging anymore, but from time to time Akaashi's hand was brushing against Kuroo's back, making him feel way better. 

They took an elevator and walked down two more hallways, to the point that Kuroo was pretty sure he was lost. He would have never been able to find his way to the exit from where they were. But he didn't care, because he wasn't really going to leave the hospital until he received news that Bokuto was going to be fine, so why even bother with finding the way out anyway? When they finally stopped in front of a patient room, the nurse knocked and slowly opened the door.

"Hinata-san, you have two more visitors. Please don't overdo it, you still need a lot of rest" she said, leaving Kuroo perplexed. Two more? What did it even mean? Was someone else already with him? He received his answer, however, when the nurse retreated in order to let them in.

As he took a step inside the room, Akaashi right beside him, Kuroo immediately noticed Hinata sitting up in his bed, probably in a position that wasn't recommended, as he was leaning forward instead of resting with his back against the pillows. Kageyama was sitting on the bed beside him, his face devoid of any expression. A couple of feet away from the bed was standing Iwaizumi, frowning as he tapped at his phone.

"Kuroo-san! Akaashi-san! They let you come visit me! How's Bokuto-san? Any changes?" Hinata started yelling the moment he noticed them coming in. Everyone was looking at them now, and they both greeted the other men with a quick wave of a hand. Hinata was of course inquiring about Bokuto, because at some point the doctors and nurses had probably stopped giving him information, and the younger man was obviously worried out of his mind. After all, he was one of Bokuto's closest friends as well.

"He's not doing fine. They've taken him to the ICU for the night, his parents are with him. If he survives the night, he'll go into surgery in the morning, and that should hopefully make him better" Akaashi quickly explained. Kuroo was grateful to him for that, because he would have never been able to give out the information. It was too painful for him. He could feel the hurt in Akaashi's voice as well, and at that point it was his turn to pass an arm around the other's back. He felt better when Akaashi casually leaned into that comforting touch.

The moment Akaashi's words were out, Hinata's expression darkened as he lowered his gaze to stare at his hands, currently fidgeting with a hem of his blanket. Kageyama awkwardly patted him on the back, probably incapable of understanding exactly what he was supposed to do at a moment like that. Iwaizumi, on the other hand, was looking more professional than ever. Kuroo noticed him shake his head.

"This is bad. If the news of what happened to him leaks out, his family will never get any peace. Hinata, you have enough company now. I'm going to deal with the press, trying to keep the reporters away from you, and to make sure that they don't get _any_ information about Bokuto's condition. He's hurt, that's all they need to know, and I'll make sure no one tells them anything more than that. I'll do everything in my power to give you the privacy you need to heal. Both of you" Iwaizumi stated, his voice incredibly serious.

Kuroo had never had many occasions to get to know that man, as they had only met a few times in the past and always for work, but at the moment he looked like a hero. A knight in shining armor, ready to protect those in need. He probably was a really great human being, if he had been able to gain the respect and admiration of the entire volleyball national team in no time, and Kuroo was starting to see why. If he really managed to contain the press, at least Bokuto and Hinata, as well as their families, were going to get the privacy they needed in order to heal and put that horrible accident behind them.

After he finished speaking, Iwaizumi started walking towards the door in order to leave the room, eyes once again pointed at the screen of his phone. It was Hinata's voice that stopped him. The man on the bed called his name, and he was passing by Kuroo and Akaashi when he stopped in his tracks to raise his head towards Hinata once again.

"Iwaizumi-san... please bring back chocolate. I hate hospital food" Hinata begged, eyes shining with hope staring at Iwaizumi. From up close, Kuroo could see the man chuckle, before turning around and leaving the room shaking his head. He didn't give any reply, but Kuroo was under the impression that he was going to come back with all the chocolate he could carry.

Once Iwaizumi was gone, door shut behind him to give the rest of them more privacy, Akaashi took a step away from Kuroo and started approaching Hinata. "How are you feeling?" he asked. After all, Kuroo had been able to talk to Hinata for a while before Akaashi arrived with Bokuto's parents, while the other man hadn't heard anything about Hinata's conditions, he had only seen the younger man pass out. Therefore, the volleyball player started explaining everything the doctors had told him, even though he admitted out loud that Iwaizumi was the one who had been listening to the medical stuff, he was just along for the ride. That definitely made Kuroo chuckle.

He then turned his gaze towards Kageyama, who seemed like a fish on dry land. He was sitting with his back perfectly rigid, eyes never really looking at Hinata, even though to his best friend it most likely didn't even matter. The important thing for Hinata, probably, was just to have Kageyama there with him.

They spent the following hours chatting. Kuroo found a seat in an armchair located in front of the bed, while Akaashi sat down on a chair right beside him. Soon, however, he had his head resting on his folded arms on top of the armrest of Kuroo's armchair, fast asleep. Kageyama was asleep as well, in a very uncomfortable position with his head on Hinata's shoulder, mouth wide open and drooling a little. Looking at the younger man, Kuroo was grateful for the fact that at least Akaashi looked way more graceful while sleeping and didn't risk drooling on him.

Hinata was the one who really needed to rest, but he was also the one who didn't seem to be able to fall asleep. He kept trying to talk to Kuroo every time he suggested that maybe the other needed to get some sleep, since he was the one in a hospital bed after all. But Hinata refused to sleep, too worried about Bokuto's situation to even try to rest, and Kuroo was secretly glad for it. Had Hinata fallen asleep, he probably would have selfishly woken Akaashi, just so that he didn't have to be alone. He wasn't sure that he was able to be alone at the moment.

He didn't even know how long they kept talking, just the two of them. It had been just past 3 am when Kuroo and Akaashi had entered Hinata's room, but the sky outside the window was already getting a little brighter when he finally succumbed to sleep and basically collapsed with his head against the back of the armchair. He wasn't even sure if he'd fallen asleep first or if Hinata had. He was just grateful for the little sleep he could have, even though he had to admit that he wasn't resting at all. His dreams were filled with cars getting hit and flipped over, Hinata's face contracted in fear and Bokuto's blood-red hair.

* * *

Not long after Kuroo had managed to fall asleep, a nurse brought in the morning paper, along with breakfast for the patient and a judgmental stare for his three guests, especially the one who was occupying half of the patient's bed. She didn't say a word to them though, she just checked Hinata's vitals and announced that a doctor was coming to see him soon. 

Kuroo managed with difficulty to wake up, even though the woman wasn't certainly keeping quiet as she moved around the room. Beside him, Akaashi was stirring and cracking his back. He had slept in a position that didn't seem to be very comfortable and, judging by the expression on his face, he was probably in a lot of pain at the moment. He didn't complain though, he just adjusted his glasses and announced that he was going to get some breakfast for the rest of them, even asking Kuroo what he wanted to eat before he left. Soon after, Kageyama went to lock himself in the bathroom, and Hinata fell back asleep. That left Kuroo alone with the paper.

That morning, the paper titled _’Olympic gold medalists almost killed in tragic car accident’_. Right beneath the title were two black and white pictures. One of them showed a badly crumpled mass of metal surrounded by what looked like a huge stain on the asphalt; Kuroo would have never recognized it as Bokuto's Nissan GT-R if it wasn't for the caption that was accompanying the image. The second picture showed Hinata and Bokuto's smiling faces; they were wearing their Japan uniforms, gold medals hanging around their necks, arms around each other and showing a peace sign to the camera, probably happier than they'd ever been before in their lives. It seemed almost a cruel joke, thinking that the two pictures had been taken merely a week apart. Kuroo kept reading the title of the article over and over again, trying not to let his eyes fall on Bokuto's smile, until he couldn't take it anymore. With a quick movement of his hands, he ripped the tear-stained paper to pieces. He still hadn't even read the article itself; he wasn't sure he had the courage to see what it said. At least he hoped that Iwaizumi had been able to contain the leak of news, somehow.

He hadn't been able to stop himself from crying while staring at the paper, especially because with Hinata asleep and the others gone, he had nothing to distract him. Soon, however, Akaashi returned, bringing breakfast for both Kuroo and Kageyama. Forcing the younger man out of the bathroom was difficult, since he'd fallen asleep in there as well, but he woke up immediately once he heard that there was food. The three of them ate in a corner of the room, trying not to disturb Hinata, who was finally resting. They were almost finished when Akaashi's phone started vibrating.

It was Bokuto's mother, saying that he had survived the night. Even though he hadn't improved as much as the doctors had hoped, they were still taking him into surgery, at least to attend to his most urgent injuries. When Akaashi told Kuroo and Kageyama what the quick conversation had been about, the younger man was the first one to talk.

"You two should go, be with Bokuto-san's parents. I'll keep an eye on this idiot, at least until his family is here. His mother and sister are flying in from Sendai, they'll be here in a couple of hours" Kageyama stated. Kuroo gave him a look of gratitude, and even attempted a smile, before standing up and hurrying towards the door.

"Whatever happens, here's my number. Call us. Hinata also has both of our numbers" Akaashi said instead, leaving a piece of paper to Kageyama, who just nodded and pocketed Akaashi's phone number. After that, Kuroo and Akaashi left together.

They were directed towards the waiting area of the surgical wing, where friends and family were supposed to wait for their loved ones who were in surgery. They were going to meet Bokuto's parents there, and together they were going to wait for the operation to be over. It wasn't supposed to take more than a few hours, considering that the doctors weren't trying to repair all of the damage at once. It wasn't going to be a complicated surgery, but since Bokuto was still very weak, there was always a strong chance of him not making it off the table at all. That thought scared Kuroo half to death.

Akaashi was probably a mind reader, because as those thoughts were clouding Kuroo's head, the other man grabbed his hand and gave him a smile. "Don't worry, he'll be just fine. Next time you'll confess to him, he will be awake to give you a reply" Akaashi said, pure confidence in his words. Kuroo felt that familiar sting in his eyes that had been hurting since he’d first received Hinata's phone call in the middle of the night. He squeezed Akaashi's hand, unable to find the words to explain how grateful he was to the other for just _being there_. He hoped his eyes were speaking loud enough.

After that quick interaction, they let go of each other's hands and just kept walking side by side until they finally met up with Bokuto's parents. The couple probably hadn't slept a single minute all night, because they looked like crap, with huge bags under their eyes. Well, come to think of it, Akaashi didn't look any better than them, even though he was always able to maintain a certain elegance in his posture. At that point Kuroo imagined that, had he looked into a mirror, he might have gotten scared, and he probably wouldn't have even recognized himself, since he undoubtedly looked as bad as everyone else.

The four of them spent the entire morning in the waiting room together, none of them talking. From time to time, Kuroo could hear Bokuto's mother cry a little louder, but other than that there was no sound coming from their group. After a few hours of just sitting there and waiting, however, he was starting to feel restless. They hadn't received any updates on Bokuto's surgery since it had begun, and he couldn't understand if that was a good sign or a bad one.

Kuroo started pacing back and forth, until he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He took it out and looked at it; the battery was low, but not so low that he couldn't answer the call he was receiving. It was Kenma, after all, and in such a terrible moment he really needed to hear the voice of his best friend.

"Hey Kenma" he whispered as he answered, stopping as far as possible from the rest of his small group in order not to disturb them.

"Kuro, have you heard about Shouyou and Bokuto-san? I just found out, it was all over the news!" the youtuber said as soon as Kuroo was done with his greetings. His voice was hurried, panic clearly seeping through.

Kuroo sighed. Of course Kenma was worried. He was very close to Hinata, after all. Probably the younger man needed a little reassurance, or some more information, and Kuroo was the right person to provide at least one of them. "I'm at the hospital with Akaashi and Bokuto's parents. He's in surgery right now. It's bad. Hinata has a concussion but otherwise he's fine, I spent most of the night with him and he's lucid enough. Kageyama is with him, and his family should be here as well by now" he explained.

He could hear Kenma breathing heavily in the receiver, probably trying to wrap his head around what was happening. "Can Shouyou have more visitors? I'd like to come see him" Kenma then asked.

Hearing those words, Kuroo took a deep breath. Was that a good idea? Well, of course Kenma wanted to see one of his closest friends who was hurt, and Hinata would have probably been thrilled to receive a visit from him. On the other hand, Kageyama had told them during the night that a few reporters had recognized him when he'd gotten to the hospital with Iwaizumi, and they'd tried to ambush him in order to get information on Hinata and Bokuto out of him, or at least his perspective on the whole situation, until Iwaizumi had dragged him away. Akaashi's horrified expression at that tale had portrayed perfectly well how Kuroo was feeling too. Kenma was a public face as well, meaning that his arrival would have attracted unwanted attention just like Kageyama's, and that was the last thing all of them needed. At the same time, however, it wasn't fair to either Kenma or Hinata if Kuroo told his best friend not to come.

"I think he can have visitors, yes. You can call him though, just to be certain. I'm sure he'll be happy to hear from you. Just one thing: when you get here, hide your face. Don't let anyone recognize you until you're safe inside the hospital. Those fucking reporters are monsters!" Kuroo finally replied to his best friend. Even though, to be completely honest, he doubted that the reporters could have extracted any information from Kenma even if they'd recognized him. He was too good at minding his own business, after all. But it was better to be safe than sorry, he guessed.

Kenma hummed a little in the receiver of the phone, a sign that he understood what Kuroo was saying and that he was going to do just that. After confirming that Kenma was going to call Hinata and most likely come over to the hospital, they said goodbye and hung up. When Kuroo walked back towards the others, Akaashi was giving him a questioning look.

"Kenma. He wanted to make sure I heard about what happened. He's probably coming over to see Hinata, since they’re very close" he quickly explained, and Akaashi nodded in understanding. After that, he sat back down and there was once again silence in their group.

He couldn't tell how long they'd been there, because time seemed to pass at a normal pace, but every time he checked his phone he realized that no time had passed at all since he had last looked. After twenty more minutes, it already felt as if it had been several more hours. He needed to do something in order to pass the time, and that was the reason why he ended up doing something incredibly stupid, something he didn't really want to do. On his phone, he searched online for Bokuto and Hinata's accident, and Google gave him back a very long list of links. From there, he clicked on the first one and started reading, the battery of his phone going red.

He hadn't had the courage to read the article in the morning paper, yet now he was researching more articles online to read about what had happened to his friends. If that wasn't masochism, then he didn't know what was.

The first article he opened had the same picture of Bokuto and Hinata smiling together after winning the gold medal that had been in the morning paper, with the difference that in the article online it was in color, while in the paper it had been in black and white. He could now see the contrast between their flaming red uniforms, Hinata's bright orange hair and the gold of the medals around their necks, the same color as Bokuto’s eyes. He sighed, trying not to spend too much time looking at that picture.

The article per se didn't say much. It said pretty much what Hinata had told him about the dynamics of the accident, since the police had probably released the information publicly, but after that it didn't give any major information. It mentioned the name of the hospital where they had been taken, and that Bokuto had been unconscious at the arrival of the paramedics on the scene. And that was it; no updates on their situation, no details on their condition. Kuroo felt relieved, meaning that at least that one reporter didn't have any clue of what was really going on.

The following two articles he read were saying pretty much the same thing. The next one, however, had something different that made Kuroo's blood boil. The picture accompanying the article had been taken inside the hospital. He recognized the waiting room outside the ER, and there was Hinata waving an arm while running towards someone. If he squinted enough, Kuroo could also recognize a piece of one sleeve of the Bouncing Ball hoodie he was currently wearing in a corner of the picture. Shit. That picture had been taken when he’d gotten to the hospital to meet Hinata. Some of those reporters had really been able to take a few pictures before being thrown out by the hospital security, after all.

Seeing such a picture was enough to make Kuroo feel mad. That article sure enough described Hinata's condition, but there was no mention of Bokuto at all. At least they hadn't been able to hear what Hinata was telling him regarding Bokuto's situation right after throwing himself at Kuroo. Which was good, because otherwise Kuroo would have killed someone. It was none of those people's business. It was a private matter, and he didn't care that Bokuto and Hinata were pretty famous public faces, especially now that they had guided Japan to an Olympic gold medal in men’s volleyball. The reporters didn't have the right to invade their lives in such a delicate moment.

The articles he read after that, however, said even less than the previous ones. It meant that the number of reporters who had been able to find out at least a little was very limited, and even those people didn't really know that much. Iwaizumi had really done an outstanding job at keeping the news from leaking out. Now Kuroo definitely thought of him as some kind of hero. He was probably going to imagine the man wearing a superhero cape every time he was going to think about him, from that moment on.

He felt a little better, knowing that at least his friends could have the privacy they needed in such a delicate moment, even though his phone's battery died in order to give him that closure. That was enough to make him relax at least a little, and soon he was asleep with his head resting on Akaashi's shoulder. The other man had an arm around Kuroo's back, keeping him steady so that his head wouldn't slip and fall while sleeping. Beside them, Bokuto's parents were praying and crying in silence.

* * *

"Kuroo-san! Kuroo-san, wake up!" he barely registered Akaashi's voice calling for him. The volume wasn't too high, or it would have made him jump out of his skin, but it was full of determination. Kuroo slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times to take in the view in front of his eyes, trying to remember where he was. He felt even more tired than he had been before falling asleep.

With difficulty he raised his head, cracking his neck and his back, that were beginning to hurt because of the very uncomfortable position he had slept in. As he looked around, he noticed immediately that Bokuto's parents were standing up, talking with a couple of doctors. It was his body's automatic response to jump up and make his way towards them, to hear what the doctors had to say. Akaashi followed right behind him.

When they reached Bokuto's parents, stopping beside them in order to listen to the conversation, the doctors immediately shut up, eyeing the two of them with suspicion. "They're with us, please go on" Bokuto's father quickly said. Only then one of the doctors cleared his throat and resumed talking.

"As I was saying, we were able to repair most of his injuries, but we will need to take him into surgery again in a few days. The condition of his spine is also worrying us, meaning that during one of the next surgeries we will need to insert a few screws in his spine, hoping that it would be enough; if not, he might need a spinal fusion in the future. Right now he needs time to recover though, because in the condition he is now he won't be able to withstand another surgery so soon. We will monitor him constantly, but we still can't assure that he's out of danger. He's still in critical conditions, but at least for now he's stable. At this point in time, however, we don't know if he's going to wake up, and even if he does, we're not sure how much damage his brain might have suffered for lack of oxygen before the paramedics found him on the scene. Right now, all we can do is wait" the doctor concluded.

Kuroo felt a weight lift from his heart, when he understood that the surgery had been successful, but another one added right back when he found out that even though the surgery had been a success, Bokuto's conditions weren't improving just yet. Sure, he was stable, but he wasn't out of the woods yet, he could have still died. And then the doctor said that he might have sustained brain damage, and that even if he were to wake up, there was no way to know if he was going to be himself again. It was too much to take in all at once.

Beside him, Bokuto's parents nodded, and asked the doctor if they could see him. If _all of them_ could see him. The man eyed both Kuroo and Akaashi with suspicion once again, but then the second doctor nodded.

"Yes, please follow me" he said, and the four of them started walking after him. Kuroo's legs were shaking, but he tried his best to manage staying on his feet on his own, without Akaashi constantly helping him keep it together.

They were all escorted to the ICU, where a nurse recommended them to keep quiet not to disturb the recovering critical patients. They all nodded, before entering what apparently was Bokuto's room. He was already in bed, looking more like himself than he had when Kuroo had last seen him in the ER during the night. Someone had cleaned him up, taking away the blood that was dirtying his face. His hair was also back to its usual color, falling softly on his forehead. All of his external injuries were bandaged, making him look a little like a mummy, but other than that he was just _Bokuto_ , finally perfectly recognizable.

He was still surrounded by a lot of machines, emitting some creepy beeping sounds, and he still had all kinds of tubes sticking out of his body. If Kuroo concentrated well enough, however, he could tune out the beeping sounds, and make the machines and tubes disappear in his mind. If he looked at Bokuto with enough intensity, he could see his friend lying in a bed, without having to associate it with a hospital. And he did exactly that, trying his best to see Bokuto as if he was just sleeping, and not in a coma.

As soon as they were left alone inside the room, all doctors and nurses gone, Bokuto's parents instantly walked towards one side of the bed, and they started caressing their son. Immediately, Kuroo and Akaashi moved towards the other side of the bed, where Akaashi tentatively took Bokuto's hand. Kuroo's eyes fell on that contact, and he observed how careful Akaashi was not to injure Bokuto some more, considering that there were tubes sticking out of that hand as well.

Kuroo leaned down and brought his head close to Bokuto's, almost resting his forehead on the pillow next to his friend's head, and he started crying again. He wanted to be strong in that situation, he didn't want Bokuto's parents to see him like that. They had their own pain to take care of, he didn't want to be a burden for them as well. But he couldn't manage to stop himself. He didn't want to cry like that, but there was no way of stopping.

At that point, he felt Akaashi's other hand reach his back and stop there, palm pressed against his curved spine. "It's okay. Everything is going to be fine" he heard the younger man say. He sounded so confident that Kuroo couldn't do anything other than believe him.

As he raised his head again, taking a look at the people in the room with him, Kuroo was certain about one thing. The following few days were going to be critical for Bokuto's recovery, and that meant that he would have needed all the support they could give him. He was pretty sure that Bokuto's parents were never going to leave his side until he was awake and talking. Akaashi was probably going to do the same, knowing the bond he shared with Bokuto. As for Kuroo, he already had every intention of calling at work in order to take a few days of leave. He wasn't going to walk out of that hospital without Bokuto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no way to put this in the actual chapter, but I felt like I needed to say this somewhere, so:  
> Iwaizumi came back to Hinata’s room late in the morning, bringing him a bag of chocolate tablets that his mother promptly confiscated. Natsu started eating them in front of him, before their mother took them away from her as well, and scolded Iwaizumi for bringing chocolate to her hospitalized son.
> 
> If you want to talk about Haikyuu or Bokuroo, or if you want to insult me for writing this fic, you can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/SuperEllen4)! ^_^


	3. Bokuto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading the first couple of chapters and still wanting to have more of this. The first two chapters were painful, I know that, but from here on things will start to get a little better... somehow... sort of...  
> Well, here we change pov for the first time in the story! Also, this chapter comes from the idea that we never really know what happens to a person in a coma. I hope you enjoy!

Pain. Everything hurt. His body couldn't move, even if he tried to. He couldn't even open his eyes, because the pain was too intense to concentrate on anything else. He tried to think about what was happening, trying to figure out where he was, and where that pain was coming from, but all he could see in his head were images of a car's front lights coming from the right, and then nothing else. That blinding light, a roaring bang, a scream, and then pain. Nothing else.

Car. He was in a car, that much he remembered. He was driving. And then there was that other car that came out of nowhere. Yes, he could remember the car approaching. But what happened next? He tried to concentrate some more, but his head hurt so much. He tried to breathe, but nothing happened. Concentrate, he needed to concentrate. What had happened with the other car? He was slowly starting to remember the dynamics of the accident. A scream that hurt his ears, Hinata's voice. And then that loud crashing sound, metal crumpling, loud enough to almost make him go deaf.

He was somehow remembering the lack of force of gravity, as if he was being tossed around in all directions. But he couldn't move while he was tossed, as if he was restrained to stay in place. Oh yes, he remembered now. The car had flipped over a few times, but he couldn't remember in which position it had stopped. He'd probably passed out at some point. Then nothing else; he couldn't remember anything else. Just the accident, the car hitting them, Hinata screaming, and that was it.

Was he dead? Because he couldn't open his eyes, he couldn't move, he couldn't even breathe. It could only mean that he was dead. But he could hear sounds, even though he couldn't recognize what they were. He tried to concentrate on those, because maybe they could tell him where he was, and if he was really dead. And Hinata, what had happened to Hinata? Were they both dead?

His head kept hurting more, but he tried to ignore the pain in order to concentrate on whatever was going on around him. He could now distinguish a few sounds. There was a beeping that was making him go insane. It was frustrating in its regularity. It almost felt like it was synchronized with the beating of his heart, which was crazy, but that was what it felt like. And then there were voices, somewhere around him. They were distant, though, and he couldn't recognize them or understand what they were saying.

He tried again to concentrate on his body functions. If he was hearing people, it meant that he wasn't dead. And if he was alive, he needed to breathe. Then why wasn't he able to breathe? He tried to take a deep breath, but nothing happened. So he tried again, and again, and again. It was like that time when he needed to learn how to spike straight along the sideline. All he needed to do was to practice more. And that was exactly what he was going to do.

For who knows how long, he just kept trying and trying. He couldn't tell how much time had passed, because he couldn't feel the passing of time at all. He just kept trying to breathe, until he felt something that seemed like a little air reaching his lungs. He tried again, and again, and every time he could feel a little more air come in. But he still couldn't breathe completely, and he felt like he was beginning to suffocate. Why was he even suffocating now? He hadn't been breathing that entire time, so why now that he was almost able to do it he felt like he was going to suffocate?

It didn't make sense. He didn't want to suffocate, he wanted to breathe. And that was the reason why he kept trying and trying. The concentration it took prevented him from understanding what was happening around him, but he could barely register at least three different voices. He felt warm in his chest, because something sounded incredibly familiar, even though he couldn't pinpoint what it was. There was more commotion around him, and then he felt something in his mouth. He tried to fight it away, but he couldn't even move his jaw.

What was happening to him? Was someone really trying to choke him? He tried to breathe again, with more concentration and dedication than before, and he finally felt his lungs fill. It was as if he was breathing for the first time in his entire life, and it felt just perfect. He tried again, and again, and every time his lungs filled with air, before they expelled it. He was breathing. He was breathing again. And each breath he took felt regular, incredibly natural. He wasn't struggling to breathe anymore; he was just _breathing_.

Now that he could breathe, he was starting to feel a little better. The pain seemed to be less intense, but it was still there, and he was still unable to move his body or even open his eyes. But he tried to concentrate on the voices around him. If he could hear what they were saying, maybe he could finally understand where he was and what was happening to him. For now, all he'd been able to figure out was that he wasn't dead, because he was breathing. Everything else was still a mystery, though.

"A week, four surgeries, and he's finally shown an actual sign of improvement" someone said. The voice seemed distant, muffled. It was difficult to distinguish the words, but he managed. He could also tell that he knew who that voice belonged to, but his head hurt so much for the effort of listening that he couldn't connect the dots. The voice was male though, he recognized that for sure.

What he got out of that sentence was a time span, and a number of surgeries. Someone was showing signs of improvement. What was that person talking about? He wanted to ask to be more specific, but of course he couldn't produce a single sound. He could only remain where he was, trying to listen for more.

"The fact that he's breathing on his own means that maybe he'll wake up soon" a second voice stated. That voice was male as well, a little calmer than the first one, and he could detect what could have sounded like hope in it.

For some reason, he was sure that he knew both the people those voices belonged to, but he couldn't point his finger towards who they were. At the moment, the only voice he could easily distinguish was Hinata's, because his friend was still screaming in his head, his cries accompanying the sound of crashing metal. And he could tell for sure that neither of the voices he'd just heard was Hinata's.

That second voice was talking about someone breathing on his own, but once again there was no reference to whom that person was talking about. Even though... wait a second. _He_ was breathing now! He'd just started breathing! Were they talking about him, then? If they really were, then he couldn't understand the meaning of him waking up soon. He was wide awake! And he really wanted them to know, he wanted to tell them, to show them, but for some reason he still couldn't move his body, he still couldn't open his eyes.

"You're right, Keiji. All we need to do is hope that he'll open his eyes soon" said a third voice. That one was female, sweet, _broken_. He knew that voice too.

And she'd mentioned a name. Maybe that could have been of help. Keiji... Keiji... _Akaashi!_ It all came back to him in a flood; memories of his best friend from high school, of his first love. And immediately he recognized his voice as well. He'd been the second one to talk.

That realization triggered all kinds of memories, of friends and family members, of the years he'd spend laughing and playing volleyball. That was the moment he recognized the other two voices as well. His parents. He could feel his heart beat faster, even though he couldn't really be sure if it was true. But the beeping sound surrounding him was quickening as well, keeping its synchronization with the beating of his heart.

There was commotion around him, someone yelled for a doctor, and there were steps running in. He heard someone talking in the distance, but he didn't recognize that voice, and he wasn't even able to really hear what it was saying. Then the sound of steps faded, and his heart was back to normal.

As he was cursing at himself for being unable to show his parents and Akaashi that he was awake, he heard more running steps enter the room. At that point, however, he couldn't detect any reason to consider the situation as an emergency. Unless he was dying again without even realizing it? But that would have been strange. At that point, however, the steps stopped right beside him.

"I can't believe he's really breathing on his own! I came as soon as Kenma tagged me out, Hinata is thrilled to hear the good news too" another voice stated. Even though its owner was clearly breathing heavily, the voice was warm and full of passion. Even he could understand that. And most of all, he could recognize who it belonged to. _Kuroo_.

His parents and his closest friends were there with him, then. Was it because of the accident? Was he at the hospital? Was he really dying? No, he couldn't accept that. His father had said that he was finally showing an actual sign of improvement. It meant that he was going to recover completely from whatever he had. 

Once again he tried to open his eyes, to show the people he loved that he was with them, but nothing happened. His heart, however, was beating a little faster once again, he just realized. Because Kuroo had mentioned Hinata, and he really needed to know how his friend was. Hinata was with him in the car, and since he was the one who was driving, if something had happened to Hinata it would have been all his fault. There was no other explanation for that.

"How's Hinata-kun doing?" Akaashi asked, and he felt so incredibly grateful to his friend for voicing out his own question.

"He's complaining. The nurses threatened to tie him to the bed again, if he keeps trying to sneak out of his room to come here. But the effects of the concussion are wearing off, at least" Kuroo replied, explaining the situation.

He felt immediately better. If Hinata was trying to sneak out of the room, it meant that he wasn't in a too bad condition. Actually, Hinata was most likely feeling better than him. Which was a relief, because he would have felt way worse than he was already feeling if he'd also had the burden of having killed one of his closest friends.

He heard someone laugh, and he recognized it as Akaashi. It was so rare to hear him laugh, but at the same time he had to admit that he'd always loved that sound. "At least the nurse was able to confiscate the volleyball that Kageyama-kun brought in for him the other day, or it would have definitely been worse" Akaashi commented. After that, he heard Kuroo laugh as well.

The sound of his friends having fun was gratifying in some way. It meant that they were still there, that at least they were fine, and that they were still able to be happy. And if they were laughing about Hinata, it meant that the other was definitely feeling better as well. He felt incredibly relieved as he reached that conclusion.

Everything was perfect, then. All he still needed to do was let his friends know that he was there as well.

* * *

Time was moving in a very confused way. He kept reliving images of the accident, and for prolonged periods of time he couldn't stop hearing Hinata's scream, along with all of the other sounds of the accident. The collision, the crumpling metal. Another scream. It took him long enough, but in the end he came to the realization that the second screaming voice belonged to him. Had he really yelled during the accident? Or was he just imagining it now because he was letting Hinata's scream condition him? To be honest, he couldn't really tell. It wasn’t like he really remembered the details of what had happened, after all.

He couldn't say how much time was actually passing, so he kept listening closely for any sounds of people talking about the date of the day, but he heard nothing of the sort. He was also trying to figure out his own conditions, but nobody talked about how he was doing when they were next to him, and the situation was starting to get frustrating. After all, how was he supposed to swear to everyone that he was perfectly fine, when he was the first one who didn't have a clue of how he actually was?

He was feeling way better, however, every time he heard the voices of his friends and parents. He recognized a few more voices, during the time he spent in that state. He recognized Tsumu, Yukippe, Konoha and Washio in more than one occasion. He was also surprised to hear Tsumu's voice crack as he was next to his bed, because he never thought the day was ever going to come when Miya Atsumu would have shed tears for him. He thought Tsumu couldn't stand him, and finding out that he actually cared was weird, but in a good way.

He would have wanted to reply to all of them that he was hearing everything they tried to tell him, but he couldn't send out even that minimal signal. It was getting extremely frustrating, actually, because he really wanted to interact with everyone, but for some reason his body refused to.

How many days had passed since he'd first started to breathe, at that point? And had it even been days or just hours? He really couldn't tell, because in his head it felt like months. He could understand, however, that some things were happening at pretty irregular intervals, which made him curious. In particular, from time to time he could feel some kind of warmth in one of his hands, usually the right one. It was as if someone was holding it.

Some voices always accompanied that sensation. Every time he heard someone speaking, in those moments, one of the voices involved was always the same. One that he would have recognized anywhere. It was Kuroo, meaning that probably in those moments his friend was also the one holding his hand. Sometimes Kuroo just talked to him, but other times there was someone else around that he could talk with. Usually it was Akaashi.

The two of them seemed to be getting along just fine. Which was weird, because he couldn't remember his two friends ever being close, they usually pretty much ignored each other. However, it was now a habit to hear their voices talking to each other, when he couldn't hear his parents around. They mostly talked about him, which was even weirder, because he would have never imagined they could have had so much to say to each other about him. Sure, they both cared about him and he cared about them in return, but it wasn't really something to build long conversations on.

Nevertheless, every time he heard their voices he always concentrated on them, trying his best to hear whatever they were saying. Which wasn't easy, because he was still hurting everywhere and listening to what was happening around him took a lot of concentration, that he wasn't always able to put together.

Most of the time, in fact, he was just fighting against whatever was hurting in his body. He fought to keep the pain at bay, and to make Hinata's screams from the accident stop. He had now learned that his friend was fine, but he was probably going to hear his voice screaming in his head until he was able to hear Hinata's voice for real.

As time continued to pass, however, fighting was becoming more and more difficult, and more than once he contemplated the idea of just giving up. He could have just let go of everything, and the pain would have finally stopped. Every time he thought about that option, however, something always happened to make him change his mind. In most cases it was that sensation of warmth against his hand, that he had started to recognize as Kuroo, but sometimes it was also the soft touches of his mother, or the hopeful voices of his friends. He needed to keep fighting for them.

Then one day his continuous struggle was repaid in full. There was still that voice inside his head, Hinata screaming during the accident. His head was hurting more than usual, and once again he was considering giving up. That was when he felt the warmth return to his hand.

"Hey Bo, did you hear the news? Hinata has just been discharged. He's fine now, his mother is taking him home. And before he leaves the hospital, he's coming to see you. It's been weeks now, but even though he wasn't allowed to come here, he's always been with you the entire time" Kuroo said, his voice excited.

Hearing that cheerful tone from Kuroo was rare, since nowadays he usually sounded incredibly gloomy while talking to him, or just around him. But probably Hinata feeling better had been enough to make his friend feel more joyful as well. And Kuroo wasn't the only one, because he was happy too. So happy, in fact, that he heard the beeping sound that he'd learned to associate to his own heartbeat speed up. His friend obviously noticed as well.

A moment of silence followed that reaction, before Kuroo spoke again. "Have you really heard what I just said?" the man asked, probably trying to sound as calm as possible but failing miserably. "Hinata is coming to see you" Kuroo repeated, most likely trying to get another reaction out of him. And he really tried to give him one, but his heart didn't speed up again, and he had no control whatsoever over it.

He heard Kuroo sigh, and he could imagine his friend's defeated expression. He wanted to do something to let the other know that he was _just there_ , that he could hear everything, but he still couldn't manage to produce any physical reaction. And the more he tried, the more everything hurt, especially his head.

After a little while, even though he had no way to truly understand how long, other people came into the room. He could hear them talking, but he couldn't distinguish what they were saying, or who they were. It was annoying, but concentrating was difficult, and he could only manage to do it on one voice at a time, and only when they were loud and clear, possibly very close to where he was.

"Bokuto-san!" was the first thing he could hear, because someone was yelling it. Someone was saying his name, and there was no way he could have ever mistaken that voice for anyone else's, because it was the same voice that he kept hearing over and over in his head since the accident. Hinata. Hinata was really there, and he was fine!

"Kenma let go of me, I need to get closer" the same voice said with urgency.

"Calm down Shouyou, I'll take you there, but walk slowly. Your mother is going to go crazy if you start overdoing it before even leaving the hospital" a second voice replied. It was a little fuzzy, but he could mostly connect it to Kuroo's childhood friend, Kenma.

Then Hinata's voice became louder and louder, probably closer, and it started hurting his head a lot, but he didn't care. His friend was really fine, which was all that mattered. Hinata had been in the accident with him, and he was apparently leaving the hospital. If his teammate could go home, then at some point it was going to be the same for him as well. He was going to get all better, and everyone around him was going to notice that he was awake, and he was finally going back home.

Hinata was talking too much, and he couldn't understand a word the other man was saying. "Are you staying in Tokyo, or is your mother taking you back to Miyagi?" was the first thing he managed to hear. It was Kuroo's voice, there was no mistaking it.

"The doctors want to keep me under observation, so I'll stay in Tokyo. My mom is going to stay with me for a while. I told her it's not necessary, but she started yelling and I really don't want to contradict her. She’s scary when she gets mad" Hinata replied. Bokuto wanted to laugh along with Kuroo at those words, but he couldn't. He found it extremely annoying.

"Since you're staying in Tokyo, can you come back to the hospital to visit Bokuto? I think that your presence here makes him happy" Kuroo suggested, his voice full of hope. He wasn't exactly sure what Kuroo was talking about, but he understood that his friend was probably telling Hinata to come see him again. Which was indeed a great idea, because he wanted to see Hinata as well.

"Kuro..." Kenma said, and his voice sounded incredibly sad. "We talked about this, you're just hurting yourself. Bokuto-san is in a coma; the doctors clearly said that he can't hear us, that he's only showing minimal brain activity. He can't really notice if someone is here or not."

He wanted to punch Kenma in the face now. Who did he think he was? What gave that man the right to talk about him like that? He was the only one who knew what was going on with his body! And he was awake, he could hear them all talking. He was really happy that Hinata had come to visit him, Kuroo was absolutely right, he definitely wanted Hinata to come see him again.

"Minimal brain activity is still better than no brain activity. Bokuto has always been an idiot, he'll be fine with what he has now" Kuroo replied, and he could hear the incredible sadness seeping through his friend's voice. It pained him so much that he didn't even feel the need to yell at Kuroo for calling him an idiot.

"Don't worry, Kuroo-san! I'll come back every time I can!" Hinata then yelled, full of joy.

After that the conversation died, and a couple of goodbyes later he heard steps and a door closing. He thought he'd been left alone, but it wasn't possible, because he could still feel the heat of a hand holding his own. Then, all of a sudden, someone was crying pretty loudly.

_Kuroo_. He would have given anything to be able to squeeze his friend's hand, to tell him that everything was okay, that he was getting better. He wanted to take away all of that sadness that was quickly turning Kuroo into some person he could barely recognize. Because Kuroo's voice had always had only three possible tones: determined, smug or playful. That sad tone his friend recently used was a recent addition, and he didn't like it at all.

In that moment, he felt like Kuroo's tears hurt more than the accident.

* * *

He still had no idea of how many days had passed since the accident. All he knew was that he was having longer and longer periods of time in which he couldn't hear a single word, and he couldn't feel a single touch bringing warmth to his cold body. It probably meant that the people who were always with him in the beginning had to go back to their lives at some point. He was starting to feel abandoned, even though from time to time he could still hear the voices of his parents and his friends.

Hinata had really come back to visit him a few more times, and his parents were there more often than anyone else. The other people who were there often enough were Akaashi and Kuroo. They usually visited him together, which was slowly starting to seem less awkward now that he was getting used to the fact that the two of them had probably gotten a lot closer during the time he'd spent in that accursed hospital bed. But he was always glad when he could hear both of their voices by his side together. In those cases it didn't matter if they were talking to him or to each other, all he cared about was that they were there for him.

"Kenma keeps saying that I'm delusional for continuing to talk to him, that there's no way he can hear me and that in the long run I'm only going to get hurt" Kuroo said one day, making him feel mad, because Kenma really needed to stop with that pessimistic attitude, and start minding his own business.

"Kozume-kun is probably being too practical. You're not delusional, though. Talking to him as if he could hear you gives you hope, and hope keeps you going. I understand that. Sometimes I talk to him too. But on a rational level I know he can't her me, even though I usually try to ignore that specific knowledge and talk to him anyway" Akaashi replied. It was true: sometimes Akaashi talked to him as well, and his friend's words always made him feel stronger. At that point, all he could do was hope that Akaashi could manage to keep Kuroo strong too, because his determination was really helping him a lot. Even though Akaashi was absolutely wrong about one thing: he could totally hear them, and he wished there was a way to show them.

"Thanks, Akaashi. But I really do think he can hear us. He'll tell you himself, when he wakes up" Kuroo stated. After that, the conversation got confused and he couldn't hear what else the two were saying.

Sometimes, Kuroo also came by to visit him on his own. He was probably the only person who managed to be almost as present as his own mother, which was indeed strange, considering that he knew Kuroo often worked insane hours and barely had any free time. Yet apparently his friend had found some more time for him. It made him feel warm and wanted, every time he thought about it, because it meant that someone out there really cared about him. His friends were just the most amazing people.

"Good evening. I came as soon as I could get off from work. Any changes?" Kuroo said getting closer to him, on a day he'd come without Akaashi. He knew what Kuroo's voice getting closer meant: soon he was going to feel that nice, comfortable heat against the skin of his hand. And in fact he wasn't disappointed, because Kuroo took his hand a moment later.

"Hello Tetsurou. No changes since you came by this morning. But it's very nice of you to spend so much time here. I'm sure that Koutarou would love to know that he has a good friend he can count on" his mother replied, and as she talked he felt something against his cheek. His mother always caressed him that way, and he had learned to recognize her touch, meaning that he could easily understand that she was the one caressing him every time he felt something on his cheek.

"I'm trying to come over as much as I can. I really want to be here when he wakes up" Kuroo stated, and hearing those words he just wanted to scream. He wanted to let his friend know that he was awake, that he was listening to every word. Those words also warmed his heart, because everyone else around him was starting to talk about him opening his eyes using an _if_ , while Kuroo was the only one other than his mother who never left the _when_. It meant that his friend had never abandoned hope, and that according to Kuroo he was going to wake up for sure. It made him feel a lot better.

He didn't hear the entire conversation between his parents and Kuroo, but just understanding that they were there was making him feel more at ease. Somehow, their presence by his side could always tune down the pain at least a little. It didn't do much, but it still helped.

"You can go have something to eat, if you want. I'll stay here until you come back" at some point he heard Kuroo say, the first thing he could understand of their conversation.

"Yes, I think it's a good idea. We haven't eaten in hours. Come on darling, with Tetsurou here our Koutarou is in good hands" his father replied to Kuroo, and soon he heard steps walking away.

At that point, he imagined that he was alone with Kuroo. He could still feel that usual warmth that signified that his friend was holding his hand, but soon he felt another touch on his body. It was a hand on his face, similar to his mother's caress but more firm. That hand wasn't moving either.

"I miss you, Bo. I miss you so much" he could barely hear. Kuroo's voice sounded... broken. And he didn't want his friend to be so sad, he wanted to do something about it. He actually _needed_ to do something about it.

Hearing Kuroo's words, his heart sped up again. He could hear the beeping sound quicken, and soon the hand against his face was gone. But it didn't matter anymore, because the other one was still in place, holding his own.

"Bo? Can you hear me? I know that everyone else thinks I'm crazy, but I think you can really hear us" Kuroo said, his voice now full of hope.

That made his heart beat even faster. Someone was finally picking up on what was happening to him. Kuroo was starting to understand that he could indeed hear what was happening around him, that he was pretty much awake. Now he only needed to provide everyone with final proof, and that was the reason why he started concentrating even harder than he'd ever done before. He tried to move any part of his body, to give out a real reaction that could announce to everyone that Kuroo had been right all along, that his recovery wasn't a question. The effort made everything hurt more, but he continued. His heart was still beating faster.

"Wake up, Bo. I know you can do it. Please come back!" Kuroo almost begged. And he tried his hardest, he really did. But it wasn't easy, and it took a lot of effort. He would have passed out, if he hadn't been out already. But he couldn't stop, he needed to concentrate even more, he needed to move something.

Then, all of a sudden, the beeping of the heart monitor slowed down to a normal rhythm, and Bokuto Koutarou finally opened his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to point out that one of the reasons why Hinata is really scared of his mother is because he's seen her yell at Iwaizumi, and _no one_ yells at Iwaizumi!
> 
> If you want to talk about Haikyuu or Bokuroo, you can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/SuperEllen4)!


	4. Kuroo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto is back! And I'm surprised at how many people didn't expect him to wake up so soon. Come on, I'm not _that_ bad of a person!! XD
> 
> I would like to thank everyone for reading this far, and for leaving kudos and comments. I'm loving all your feedback! *_*

Between the times he was crying and when he was just doing his best to hold the tears in, Kuroo's eyes were pretty much always wet when he was hanging around Bokuto's hospital room. In that moment, his eyesight was a little blurry because he was once again concentrating on not crying. He was begging Bokuto to wake up, because he didn't care what the others said, he _knew_ that Bokuto could hear what he was saying, and that his friend needed to do his best in order to wake up.

It had been a month since the day of the accident, since that night that Kuroo had been woken by Hinata's phone call in the middle of the night and his nightmare had begun. Since that night, not a day had gone by without Kuroo imagining Bokuto's eyes open. He would have given anything to gaze upon those owl-like, huge golden eyes that he loved so much. He'd dreamed about his friend waking up, and some of the times it had felt so real that he'd been disappointed when he'd woken up to find that Bokuto was still in a coma.

When Bokuto's eyes opened for real, Kuroo couldn't believe what he was seeing. As one of his hands was still wrapped around Bokuto's, he brought the other to rub at his eyes, hoping to take away the wetness that was blurring his vision. For a moment he clearly saw golden eyes blink and then stare in his direction, before his vision blurred again. At that point it didn't matter how much he rubbed his eyes, because nothing would have been enough to dry all the tears that were falling.

Bokuto was awake. After a month of worry and sorrow, Bokuto had finally come back to him. It almost felt unreal, but Kuroo was still the happiest person alive. He smiled with everything he had, and Bokuto slowly hinted a smile back at him. That was the moment Kuroo pretty much lost control over his own actions.

Without even thinking about what he was doing, he stopped rubbing his eyes and brought the newly freed arm to hug Bokuto's body, letting the hand rest on the side of the other man's head, avoiding the few bruises that were still there. Then he lowered his own head in order to rest his forehead against Bokuto's, and from that position he began sobbing loudly. To be honest, he wasn't even sure if he was laughing or crying at the moment; he was just too happy to care. His heart warmed as he felt a weak grip try to squeeze the hand that was holding Bokuto's, a sign that the other was doing whatever he could to show his affection as well.

"I heard your voice" Bokuto breathed out. His voice was low and raspy, and Kuroo could barely hear what the other was saying, but those four simple words made his heart beat faster than ever before in his entire life.

Before he could even realize what he was doing, he lifted his head a little and planted a long kiss on Bokuto's cheekbone, as at the same time he started holding the other with a little too much strength. "I missed you so much..." he barely managed to say as soon as his lips left Bokuto's skin, going to rest his forehead on his friend's face again. That was when he felt his body shaken by what seemed to be an attempt at laughter, that Bokuto was producing with huge effort.

"Kuroo... you're crushing me" Bokuto barely managed to say as he tried to laugh. Immediately, Kuroo darted back, almost jumping to his feet from where he was sitting beside the bed. From there, the two friends looked at each other and they both smiled. Kuroo was still crying, but even though his eyesight was blurred, he could still notice how tired Bokuto looked.

"I'm going to call a doctor. And your parents, they're in the cafeteria having dinner. Oh, and I need to tell Akaashi and everyone else. I'll be back in a minute. Can you stay awake until I come back?" Kuroo spat out as quickly as he could. The feeling of seeing Bokuto awake, and being able to talk to him, was so overwhelming that he was starting to lose awareness of what he was supposed to do at the moment.

Bokuto gave a slow nod in his direction, his face contracting in pain at the gesture as the smile on his lips faltered. "I have no intention of going back to sleep" he whispered, and after that he put on another confident grin that made Kuroo's entire world shine a little brighter. He grinned back, and only then he let go of Bokuto's hand and ran out of the room, while one of his hands went for the cellphone in his pocket.

Immediately, he looked around to find a nurse, or a doctor. Someone who could go check on Bokuto and confirm that he was indeed fine, completely out of the woods. He wanted to hear a medical professional say that Bokuto was certainly going to be perfectly fine, that there was nothing to fear anymore. He'd woken up, he'd talked. It meant that the brain damage the doctors had feared wasn't there, that he was still his Bokuto and not just some vegetable.

As his eyes met those of a doctor walking by, Kuroo started gesticulating in the direction of the room, his heart beating in his throat and preventing him from speaking. The doctor appeared alarmed by his reaction, and he sprinted towards the room, stopping as soon as he reached the door and he noticed that Bokuto was awake. As the doctor called a few colleagues, Kuroo watched from outside as doctors and nurses rushed towards the room from all directions. They probably wanted to witness the miracle with their own eyes, and of course they needed to examine Bokuto for all kinds of stuff in order to make sure that he was okay.

Outside Bokuto's room, Kuroo moved his shaky fingers on the screen of his phone, until he finally managed to call Bokuto's mother. She answered before the first ring was even over. "What's wrong?" she yelled in the phone, panic in her voice. The woman was probably worried that something had happened to her son, during that short time she'd been away from him.

Kuroo took a deep breath, trying to hide the fact that he was still crying tears of joy. "He woke up" was all he managed to say, his voice almost squealing. He heard the woman sob on the other end of the line, before she hung up the phone without saying a single word. He was pretty sure that he was soon going to see both of Bokuto's parents appear in front of his eyes, running as fast as they could. But before they returned, he needed to make one last call.

Once again he tried to calm himself down, and once he was calm enough, he found Akaashi's number and called. Akaashi was the second to last name in his call history. Lately they had been talking so much that sometimes Kuroo had even found himself wondering when exactly they had become such good friends. But he was glad about that new bond, of course, because he had no idea of what he might have done during that past month if he hadn't had Akaashi by his side.

"Kuroo-san? Have you been to the hospital again?" Akaashi said as soon as he answered the phone. His voice was calm, he obviously wasn't expecting any shocking news. It wasn't rare for Kuroo to call him on his way home from the hospital, when he went to visit Bokuto alone. At Akaashi's words, Kuroo took a couple of long breaths, trying to at least suppress the sobs, since he clearly couldn't stop the tears.

"I'm still at the hospital. Bokuto just woke up!" he replied. There was a moment of silence from Akaashi, then he heard the noise of shattered glass, a sign that his friend had probably dropped whatever he was holding.

"I'm coming over!" finally came Akaashi's voice, and at the same time Kuroo could hear several confused sounds, like someone running, or something banging. Akaashi was probably rushing so much around the house that he was crashing against furniture.

"Visiting hours are almost over, I don't think they'll let you in. I actually think that soon they're going to kick me out as well" Kuroo felt he need to inform the other, even though he could definitely understand why Akaashi wanted to be there at the moment.

"I don't care, I'm coming anyway. Wait for me" Akaashi declared, and before Kuroo could say anything, the younger man hung up the phone.

After that phone call was over as well, Kuroo was starting to feel a lot better. Relief was washing over him, as he tried his best to wrap his head around the fact that Bokuto was finally awake. Before putting away his phone, he quickly texted Hinata, only telling him that Bokuto had woken up. Without waiting for an answer, he put the phone back in his pocket and walked back towards Bokuto's room. As he was about to pass the door, Bokuto's parents appeared from a door at the end of the hall and started running towards him. Kuroo smiled at them and stopped where he was, waiting for them. He even took a step back when they got close enough, in order to let them in first.

Bokuto's mother rushed to hug her son, followed by her husband. The doctors were still examining him, so they were bothered by the intrusion, but the couple didn't seem to care. Kuroo smiled at that heartwarming image as he finally stepped back inside the room. He kept his distance, though, because he didn't want to intrude. Bokuto looked happy, and Kuroo was okay with just staying to the side and watching him smile.

He could also recognize that his friend was hiding something. He knew Bokuto well enough to know that he was trying to act tough, in order not to show what was wrong with him. He'd seen him do it so many times, and he could clearly read through it. From the fleeting expressions that appeared on Bokuto's face for just a fraction of a second, he could tell that the other was still in pain, even though he probably didn't want to worry his parents even more by admitting it out loud.

As soon as the doctors walked out of the room, telling Kuroo and Bokuto's parents to let the patient rest, Akaashi rushed inside. His hair was completely disheveled, his glasses askew and barely holding onto his nose, a sweater put on back to front. He was also panting loudly and sweating, a sign that he had probably just put on the first clothes he'd found and rushed to the hospital as if his life depended on it. Kuroo couldn't stop himself from smiling at him.

"Bokuto-san!" Akaashi almost yelled, attracting everyone's attention. Bokuto smiled at him, and his parents gave him affectionate looks as well. Kuroo, on the other hand, cleared his voice, using his eyes to point outside the door, trying to let the other understand that he shouldn't have been yelling if he didn't want the doctors to get mad. Akaashi probably understood what he was saying, because he blushed a little. After that, the younger man fixed his glasses and started walking closer to the bed, Kuroo following right after him.

"I'm so glad to see you awake. How are you feeling?" Akaashi asked. Kuroo could tell that the other man's voice wasn't sounding exactly as it usually did. He was probably too excited at the idea of having Bokuto back, and he was letting too many emotions seep through the tone of his voice. That made Kuroo actually happy, because Akaashi had been maybe a little too cold lately, a sign that he was most likely losing hope, and he didn't want that to happen. He was glad to see Akaashi back to being happy.

During the time they'd spent at Bokuto's bedside together, Kuroo had gotten pretty close to Akaashi. He'd never imagined, in the past, that he could have so much in common with the former Fukurodani player to actually become good friends, but he was glad that they had finally found some common ground. Even though he hated the fact that it had taken Bokuto almost dying to reach that goal. Now, however, they often talked about volleyball, manga, and how much their lives had changed after high school. And Bokuto, they also talked a lot about Bokuto. Kuroo was actually starting to consider Akaashi as a very good friend, and he was happy to see that a hopeful smile had come back to brighten the other's face.

It was all thanks to Bokuto. Bokuto was pretty much the sun, after all, or at least that was how Kuroo was used to seeing him. A star that shone so brightly that it managed to illuminate everything around. That was exactly what being near Bokuto always made Kuroo feel. He couldn't blame Akaashi for feeling pretty much the same, even though he knew that nowadays the feelings the two of them had for Bokuto were definitely different. Akaashi's were feelings of admiration, respect and affection; Kuroo's were feelings of the deepest love a human could feel for another person.

He got lost in his thoughts for a little while, not listening much to the conversation that was going on beside him. He was standing now on Bokuto's right, next to Akaashi, while Bokuto's parents were standing on the other side of the bed. They were all talking about something, and from the few words that made it to his brain he could understand that Bokuto was trying to let them know he was slightly in pain but still absolutely thrilled to be there with them.

After a little while, a nurse appeared inside the room to inform them all that it was incredibly late and that they were supposed to leave. Now that the patient was awake, they needed to give him some time to rest in order to regain his strength, therefore they couldn't spend every moment of every day with him. Bokuto tried to protest, but when he yawned in the middle of his whine, the nurse only had more ground to state her point. In the end, they all started to say their goodbyes, assuring that they were all going to come back in the morning, during regular visiting hours. Kuroo had every intention of skipping work again in order to spend the day by Bokuto's side.

"Wait! Mom, Kuroo, can I talk to you alone for a moment before you go?" Bokuto barely managed to say as they were all leaving the room. Kuroo's heart started to beat faster, because he couldn't imagine what his friend wanted to tell just the two of them. He would have understood if Bokuto had called him and Akaashi, as they were his best friends, but why Kuroo and his mother? What did they have in common, in order for Bokuto to want to talk to the two of them specifically?

The nurse glared in their direction in a menacing way, as Akaashi and Bokuto's father had perplexed expressions on their faces. The other two, however, left the room, and the nurse followed them outside, still eyeing Kuroo and Bokuto's mother with suspicion. A clear sign that she was keeping an eye on them to make sure that they didn't stay in there too long. Then, a moment later, everyone else was gone, and Kuroo raised his gaze towards Bokuto's mother, trying to understand why the two of them were the only ones who were asked to stay.

"Mom... Kuroo... take my hands" Bokuto whispered, moving his hands slightly in order to hint towards them that they needed to hold them. They both moved instantly, Bokuto's mother taking her son's left hand between both of hers, while Kuroo only used his left hand to hold Bokuto's right. He didn't say a word, he just kept his eyes on Bokuto, waiting for his friend to say something.

"When everyone thought I couldn't hear, I could still hear everything. Now it's all blurry, but there's something I will never forget. You two are the only ones who never lost hope. You are the reason I woke up. You gave me the strength to fight" Bokuto barely managed to say, even though he coughed a little after he finished speaking. His throat was probably still sore because of the entire month he'd spent without talking.

Kuroo felt once again the familiar sting in his eyes, but he tried his best not to cry. He wanted to stay strong, he wanted to show Bokuto that he could handle the emotion, even though he obviously couldn't. The woman, however, broke down hearing her son's words, going to rest hear head on Bokuto's shoulder and crying. "I love you Kou, of course I was never going to lose hope to see you again" the woman said, her voice a little raspy because of the tears she was shedding.

As Bokuto tilted his head in order to deposit a kiss on his mother's hair, Kuroo felt like he was intruding on that private and incredibly intimate scene. He even thought about pulling away and leaving the two of them alone, but then he lowered his gaze and his eyes fell on his hand, still wrapped around Bokuto's. He could feel that the other wasn't trying to let go of him, but on the contrary was intensifying his hold. When he let his eyes move from their intertwined hands to Bokuto's face, he noticed that his friend was looking at him.

He couldn't recognize the look on Bokuto's face, though. It was affection, that much he could tell, and his friend's eyes were shining with happiness. There was something else, however, that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Gratitude, maybe? Well, yes, but not just that. Because for a crazy moment, Kuroo thought that Bokuto was looking at him the same way he had looked at his own mother, with the same kind of incomparable love. Which was crazy, because Kuroo wasn't even Bokuto's best friend, Akaashi was. So why that look, then?

"I couldn't believe you were gone, so I refused to accept it" Kuroo let out, smiling at Bokuto and still trying his best not to cry. He barely managed, even though his voice was proof of how much he was struggling against the tears. Bokuto replied to him with an even wider grin, before turning towards his mother again.

"You two brought me back, and I just needed you to know how much this means to me" Bokuto stated, but he barely managed to pronounce those words. After talking, he let his head fall even deeper into his pillow, his breath a little heavy, a sign that the conversation was taking quite a lot out of him.

"You're getting tired, maybe you should rest. I'll come back tomorrow morning" Bokuto's mother stated, leaving her son's hand with one of her own in order to caress his face. Bokuto pouted, a clear sign that he didn't want them to go, even though they really needed to.

"Don't make that face, we'll all come back in the morning" Kuroo told him with a smile, and that was enough to make Bokuto hint a smile in his direction as well.

"Fine... you have my permission to go" he finally stated, even though his eyes were still looking at the two of them with what seemed like the tiniest speck of desperation. He probably was afraid of being left alone, after spending so much time in his own head. He really didn't want them to go. Did he fear that they weren't actually going to come back in the morning? Well, if that was the case, then his fear was obviously unfounded, because they would have never abandoned him.

After that, they finally left the room as well. The nurse was outside, waiting for them to leave the patient alone so that she could go back inside and do another check on him. Akaashi and Bokuto's father were waiting for them in a hallway right outside the intensive care unit, by the elevators that were going to take them to the main entrance of the hospital. Nobody said a word as they got on the elevator together, and the silence was only broken when they had to say goodbye to each other outside the main door of the hospital.

Bokuto's parents went in one direction, while Kuroo and Akaashi remained together exactly where they were. "Are you feeling okay?" Akaashi then asked him, looking at Kuroo with worry in his eyes. Kuroo sighed, trying to figure out how he was supposed to reply to that.

"Have you had dinner?" he finally asked, a little uncertainty seeping thought his words.

"It's past 11. Of course I've had dinner" Akaashi replied, hinting a smile. Well, of course, he'd been at home resting when Kuroo had called him to inform him that Bokuto had woken up. Kuroo, on the other hand, had gone to the hospital right after work, and he still hadn't had the time to grab a bite.

"I'm starving..." he whined massaging his belly, making Akaashi laugh in a very contained but not less amused way.

"It's getting late, but you can come to my place, I'll fix you something to eat" Akaashi suggested. At first, Kuroo hugged him with gratitude, then he let go of the other and gave him a perplexed look.

"Is it all an excuse to hitch a ride home?" Kuroo asked, just to be sure. Akaashi smiled widely at that.

"Maybe" he replied, clearly joking. Kuroo smiled back at him, and the two of them started walking towards Kuroo's car in the parking lot.

"Oh, and by the way, you put on your sweater back to front" Kuroo stated as they got inside the car, making Akaashi suddenly blush. Apparently, he still hadn't noticed that he'd made a mistake in getting dressed, and Kuroo found that to be hilarious.

* * *

It was almost 1 am when Kuroo finally left Akaashi's apartment to make his way back home. He yawned as he was driving, keeping the music playing from the stereo of his car loud enough to help him stay awake. He'd had a pretty emotional day, after all, therefore it was only obvious that he was feeling more tired than usual. And it was also pretty late, especially considering that he'd woken up early in the morning in order to go to work.

He managed to get back home without any problems, however, and he went to bed immediately, not even caring about taking off his clothes. He just let himself fall on the bed and fell asleep in an instant, still wearing the pants of his best suit and a wrinkled dress shirt. That night, he dreamed about Bokuto in high school, when the two of them were rivals and they did everything they could in order to provoke the other into some more friendly competition. He smiled the entire night as he slept, happy, and when he woke up in the morning that feeling was still there. For once, he didn't sleep with frown lines twisting his face into worried or pained expressions. Bokuto was fine, and for that Kuroo was finally able to relax in his sleep.

After he woke up, he immediately showered and got dressed in comfortable clothes, then he left to go to the hospital once again. Visiting hours started at 9:30 am, meaning that he needed to be there by that time. He didn't want to arrive a minute later, because he needed to spend as much time as possible with Bokuto, now that the other was awake. He'd agreed with Akaashi that the two of them were going to meet outside the hospital at 9:15 am, get a coffee together, and then they were going inside to visit Bokuto.

Moreover, the night before Kuroo had texted Hinata to let him know about the good news, and the younger man had replied that he was going to visit Bokuto as well in the morning. Kuroo only noticed that text after waking up though, as the evening before he'd completely forgotten that he even had a phone, after using it to let everyone know that Bokuto was awake. As he read Hinata's text, he informed him about his meeting time with Akaashi, asking if he could make it by 9:15 am as well, and that otherwise they would have seen him inside. Hinata replied at 9 am, saying that he was on his way.

Kuroo got to the hospital a few minutes early, but when he arrived he found that Akaashi was already waiting for him. The other man looked calm, but at the same time he gave out the impression of someone who hadn't been sleeping much during the night. Was something troubling Akaashi? Kuroo wanted to help him if that was the case, because he really cared about the other now. He would have never survived the last month if it hadn't been for Akaashi's support, after all.

"Are you okay, Akaashi?" was the first thing that Kuroo asked his friend as soon as they met. The other just gave him a tentative smile and nodded, starting to walk towards the café located right in front of the hospital. They were going to get their coffees there, and then they were going to get inside the hospital to visit Bokuto.

"You don't seem exactly okay. Is something bothering you?" Kuroo tried to ask once again, once they got their coffees and started drinking them on the way to the hospital. Akaashi shrugged. Well, that was definitely unusual. Kuroo tried to inspect the other's face, noticing that Akaashi seemed to be pretty concentrated on something. He was most likely brooding, by the look of it. He'd never seen the younger man look like that before in his life.

Okay, maybe that wasn't exactly correct. He'd seen Akaashi look like that once, but on that occasion it had been from a huge distance. It was during his third year of high school, when Akaashi was still in his second year, at the spring tournament. Akaashi had gotten all bothered during a match, to the point that he'd even been benched. Kuroo was obviously watching that match, cheering for Bokuto, and he remembered pretty clearly how surprised he'd felt when he'd seen Akaashi change so much for apparently no reason at all. On that occasion, Bokuto had been the one to make him feel better. This time, however, Kuroo felt like it was his responsibility to help.

"It's Bokuto-san" Akaashi sighed as they got inside the elevator together, coffees still in hand.

"What about him?" Kuroo kept asking, waiting to receive a more precise explanation. He was already aware of the fact that it had something to do with Bokuto, he just wanted to understand what exactly it was.

"All this time, I've wanted him to wake up. But now that he's awake again, I feel like some part of me had actually lost all hope. I don't think I deserve to be happy to have him back, because I haven't been believing hard enough in his recovery" Akaashi blurted out, making Kuroo startle a little. Well, he sure wasn't expecting the other to say something like that.

Akaashi was a person who always tried to shoulder the entire burden of something, and with that the entire responsibility as well. He'd always been too serious, too composed, and that was what Kuroo had always believed to be Akaashi's biggest weakness as well. That attitude was certainly going to make more people who didn't know him respect him at first sight, but on the long run he was only going to get hurt by his own behavior. Akaashi was a good guy, but notwithstanding that, he still had a very imprecise view of himself and of his own worth. Kuroo wished to change that, if only he knew how.

"Don't say that. You care about Bokuto, and he obviously cares about you as well. You can't even think about that. What would he tell you if he heard you say something like that?" Kuroo chastised the other, staring at him with all the seriousness he could convey. He wanted to make sure that Akaashi understood what he was trying to say.

When the younger man just shrugged at his words, eyes staring at the floor of the elevator, Kuroo sighed. "I'm serious, Akaashi. If someone told something like that to Bokuto, what do you think he'd say back to that person? You know him well enough to figure out the answer on your own" he tried again as the elevator doors opened to the third floor, the one where Bokuto's new room was located. They were moving him out of the ICU, now that he had woken up.

Akaashi took his time to think about it, as they walked together to Bokuto's room, but he didn't reply. Kuroo hoped that giving Akaashi something to think about was going to help the other man get over his frustration with himself, because in Kuroo's eyes Akaashi definitely didn't need to beat himself up. There was absolutely no reason for it. Bokuto would have never accepted to see Akaashi feeling bad about himself, now that they finally had the possibility to be together again.

"Smile, Akaashi" Kuroo whispered as he put a hand on Akaashi's back, before entering Bokuto's room. The other straightened up until he looked as he always did, and the two of them together stepped inside the room. Kuroo's hand was still on Akaashi's back as they approached the bed. Bokuto was awake, and he smiled at them the moment he saw them come in. By his side, his parents were already there, as they had probably been allowed inside before the beginning of visiting hours.

The group spent around half an hour together, talking, with the rest of them inquiring about Bokuto's conditions. The man in the hospital bed answered all the questions regarding how he was feeling with vague sentences, as he probably didn't want to be too specific. He was clearly in pain, but at the same time it looked obvious that having the people he loved around was helping him cope with what was going on with his health.

It was a little after 10 am when two other people arrived together, coming to visit Bokuto. Kuroo smiled when he saw the little bundle of sunshine that was Hinata jump up and down as he entered the room, while a taller figure followed him inside and tried to restrain him. He was surprised to see that the man accompanying Hinata was Iwaizumi. He would have expected to see Kenma, or maybe his mother, not the athletic trainer for the national volleyball team.

As soon as he noticed Hinata's arrival, Bokuto immediately brightened up even more. He even tried to sit up on his own, which probably hurt a lot, because he didn't succeed after all. But notwithstanding the pain, he still kept trying, until his father ultimately helped him up, as his mother positioned a few pillows behind his back in order to help him sit more comfortably. As soon as he was sitting up, he opened his arms towards Hinata, and the younger man almost threw himself at him, hugging him the best he could considering the tubes still coming out of Bokuto's body.

From where he was standing, Kuroo could see that Bokuto was almost moved to tears, as he was holding Hinata. It was strange to see, but at the same time it was also somehow heartwarming. After all, soon after waking up Bokuto had started asking about Hinata. He probably felt guilty because of the accident, considering that he was the one who had been driving.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." Kuroo barely heard the other whisper as he was still holding Hinata. He was right, then. Bokuto really felt guilty for hurting Hinata in the accident. Which was ridiculous, because he'd been driving without making any mistakes, until some car had come out of nowhere and hit them. Hinata had said as much many times during the past month.

"It's not your fault. And I was so worried about you! At first they didn't even let me come to see you, so I had to ask Kuroo-san and Akaashi-san to give me information when they came to visit me, because the doctors didn't allow me to leave my bed. I'm so happy to see you now, and to find you awake and all fine" Hinata replied, his voice sounding happy and sincere. It made Bokuto smile, and Kuroo felt the need to do the same as he witnessed that scene.

As Bokuto and Hinata slowly let go of each other, mostly guided by Iwaizumi who was reprimanding them for risking to hurt each other as they were both still fragile, Kuroo turned to take a look at Akaashi. The other man still looked a little guilty, but he was also gazing at the scene in front of them with a small affectionate smile on his lips. Kuroo started rubbing his back, and immediately Akaashi turned to look at him instead, appearing a bit confused. Kuroo didn't say anything, however, he just kept on giving his friend comfort. After everything that Akaashi had done for him, he needed to be there for the other, as much as he could. Because now that he was finally happy again, with Bokuto awake in front of his eyes, he could finally see that Akaashi was struggling as well, and he couldn't allow that to continue.

When Hinata was successfully pried away from Bokuto's arms, Iwaizumi took a couple of steps closer, asking Bokuto a few quick questions regarding how he was feeling. Only when he seemed to be sufficiently satisfied with the answers he’d received, Iwaizumi asked for permission to give Bokuto information on what the public was aware of regarding his current situation. Kuroo tensed up, as he was well aware of the situation, he'd been reading articles all over regarding the accident and how it had evolved, and he wasn't sure if Bokuto was ready to hear some of the truths that came with it. Bokuto, however, just nodded and asked Iwaizumi to please tell him everything there was to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to talk about Haikyuu or Bokuroo, you can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/SuperEllen4)!


	5. Kuroo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just like the previous chapter, this one will be a little lighter, but also a little slow. I hope you'll still be able to appreciate it.
> 
> I also have no idea of which criminal charges are actually a thing in Japan (I tried to do research on the subject but I didn't find answers), so I hope that what I've written here is not too far from reality. In any case, it's not that relevant for the story, so we can just forget about it and move on.

"First of all, the dynamics of the accident. The car that hit you ran away, but it has been identified by an eyewitness, and a few days later the culprit has been found and brought in for questioning by the police. He has then pleaded guilty, admitting that he was under the influence of drugs the night he hit you with his car. The police were waiting to find out more about your conditions before deciding on the charges against him, because the worse you were getting, the more severe his punishment was going to be. Now that you've woken up, he's going to be processed for DUI resulting in aggravated assault. If you had died, he would have been charged with manslaughter. In any case, he'll probably be behind bars for a very long time. The police force is leaking the information, so it will probably be on the news by lunch time" Iwaizumi started to explain.

Bokuto listened in silence, nodding a little at the other man's words. The expression on his face was impossible to read, even though Kuroo would have given pretty much anything in order to understand what his friend was thinking. It was probably still too much to wrap his head around, considering that he'd just woken up after all. In addition to that, Kuroo listened with attention to everything that Iwaizumi was saying, because he still didn't know anything about the latest updates either. They seemed to be pretty fresh, from that same morning even. After all, Iwaizumi was the one who was in constant communication with the police, as well as being able to talk to the doctors regarding the details of both Bokuto and Hinata's health conditions.

With a worried expression on his face, Kuroo stared at Bokuto, waiting to see how he was going to react to the news. He was surprised to see his friend keep perfectly calm, only nodding twice as a sign that he had understood. Beside the bed, Hinata looked way more bothered than Bokuto, and Kuroo could easily understand why. After all Bokuto had just woken up, he still hadn't had much time to wrap his head around the entire situation they were in. Hinata, on the other hand, had never been unconscious, he'd been suffering in a hospital bed wide awake for weeks, before the doctors accepted to discharge him and sent him to suffer at home. He was the one who had been living the nightmare of their accident for a month. Hinata was the one who clenched his fists with rage after hearing what Iwaizumi had to say.

As one of Kuroo's hands was still on Akaashi's back, with the other he tried to reach Hinata, to give a comforting touch to the other man as well. He would have wanted to be able to do more, but he knew that at the moment he couldn't. He just kept silent and waited for Iwaizumi to keep informing Bokuto on the situation.

"We tried to keep your conditions a secret for as long as we could, but after a few days we couldn't hide it anymore. All we let the media know was that you were in critical conditions and that Hinata was healing fine. Your fans have been showing their support, your team even put up a page on their website where people could write their wish of good health for you. At the beginning I was afraid that fans were going to storm the hospital after hearing what happened, but they behaved very well, and that really helped not to compromise your recovery" Iwaizumi kept explaining, hinting a smile in Bokuto’s direction. Everyone around him nodded at that point, as they all agreed with what the other man was saying. Fans invading the hospital would have indeed compromised his recovery, but luckily that hadn't happened.

"I've also been talking to your doctors, to constantly monitor your progress. You're healing pretty well, but there's still a very long way to go before you can consider your health completely recovered" the man kept talking, but at that point Bokuto interrupted him.

"You're talking like I still have a chance to go back to the court, Iwa. I heard a doctor say that if I undergo intense physical therapy, I'll be able to walk without limping. They never mentioned running or jumping, though. Iwa, look at me and don't lie. Is my career in volleyball over?" Bokuto asked, perfectly collected, sounding incredibly cold.

Complete silence fell into the room when that question was pronounced. No one dared to talk, and everyone was looking at Iwaizumi now. Kuroo knew that there weren't big chances of Bokuto ever being able to play volleyball again, but at the same time he was afraid of hearing those words pronounced out loud, and everyone else was probably thinking the same thing. Iwaizumi, however, had been talking a lot with the doctors lately, especially regarding the future of Bokuto's career. Apparently, the surgeons had only spoken to him about those details, concentrating on his general health when talking to his family and friends, but speaking of his possible future in volleyball when talking to the athletic trainer of the national team he was part of. It meant that Iwaizumi was actually the only one who had the answer to the question that Bokuto had just asked.

Kuroo's heart broke a little as he watched Iwaizumi's expression change into one that was more compassionate. It could only mean one thing: there was no chance of Bokuto ever playing volleyball again.

"I'm sorry, Bokuto. Considering the result of your injuries, you'll never be able to play volleyball again. Yes, your career is over" Iwaizumi stated. Kuroo could feel everyone hold their breaths at that. Hinata almost burst into tears at the news, while Bokuto's mother hid her face against her husband's chest. Kuroo let his hand leave Akaashi's back and look for the other's hand; Akaashi returned the gesture, squeezing his hand so hard that it hurt.

Bokuto was the one who had the strangest reaction of all. He nodded, giving a huge smile to everyone. "I figured, you know. Well, thank you for telling me, Iwa. I guess I should be lucky to even be alive at this point. Volleyball is not that important" he said, almost laughing.

The people around him, however, were those who knew him better than anyone else in the world. That meant that each and every one of them knew that he was lying through his teeth. He was trying to act tough, in order not to worry anyone about how he was really feeling. He wanted to shoulder that pain alone, and he was a fool if he thought that they were going to let him do something like that. Kuroo wanted to hug him, to tell him to cut the crap and just cry, because he knew that crying was exactly what the other really wanted to do. Instead, he kept silent and clenched his teeth, as he watched Bokuto smile that fake smile of his while saying that he was just happy to be alive.

Volleyball was Bokuto's life, and Kuroo knew it very well. He knew that there was nothing much that Bokuto would have been happy to do, if he couldn't play volleyball anymore. His entire life was going to change, he was probably going to become an entirely different person. And Kuroo was afraid of that change, because Bokuto was the brightest star in the sky, and he was terrified at the thought of seeing his light dim.

"Believe me, Bokuto, I wish I had a better answer for you. I'm really sorry" Iwaizumi said again, and Bokuto smiled at him even more in reply. The smile was curving his lips, but it wasn't spreading to his eyes, a clear sign that it was completely fake.

"Don't worry, Iwa, it's not like it's your fault or anything. I'm just happy to be alive. And I'm going to do my best, to prove to the doctors that they're wrong. I'll be playing volleyball again. But if it turns out that I really can't, it's not a big deal" Bokuto stated. Kuroo felt his heart break even more as he watched how his friend was faking happiness in order to reassure the people around him. Everyone who was in that room at the moment would have given anything to see him play again. His parents and his closest friends just wanted the best for him, and Iwaizumi was probably also mourning the loss of the ace of the national team. Yet Bokuto was smiling for their sake, when he probably was dying inside at the news he had received.

Nobody seemed to know what to say. Kuroo was still holding Akaashi's hand, and he found himself squeezing it so hard that he probably hurt the other man. But he needed something to ground him, before he started crying for his friend's pain. And he really didn't want for Bokuto to see him like that.

The atmosphere didn't recover from that revelation. It actually got worse, as everyone now knew that Bokuto was probably at his lowest, and still trying to show strength to the people who cared about him. The hospital room was now full of sorrow, and nobody was talking anymore. Bokuto was still smiling, but Kuroo could clearly see how that smile was starting to fade. He couldn’t even keep up the appearances anymore.

A nurse arrived at the perfect moment, saying that they had been in there for quite a long time, and that the patient needed to rest a little, as a doctor was going to be there soon to examine him. Reluctantly, everyone left the room. As he was walking out, Kuroo turned around and gave one last melancholic look at Bokuto, then he stepped out of the room with Akaashi. Bokuto's parents went to the cafeteria, while Hinata and Iwaizumi went looking for Hinata's doctor in order to give him a checkup as well. Only Kuroo and Akaashi remained outside the room. Therefore, they were the only ones who heard.

The moment he was left alone, Bokuto broke, bursting into tears. From outside the room, leaning against the wall right beside the door, Kuroo could hear him sob loudly, and it hurt. He brought a hand to his heart, trying to keep his own tears in, while the other was still squeezing Akaashi's. Beside him, he noticed the other man stare at the ceiling, eyes filled with tears. That was the moment Kuroo decided that things couldn't go on like that. The two of them needed to do something to help Bokuto get better.

The doctors had said that he was never going to play volleyball again, and Kuroo wanted nothing more than to prove them wrong, just like Bokuto had said. But at the same time he was afraid for his friend's health, because if he really needed to quit playing, trying harder was only going to get him more injured. It was a tough decision to make, whether to help Bokuto get back to playing fit or not, but at the same time Kuroo knew that he would have always supported Bokuto in everything he decided to do. And he was going to be there for the man he loved, for whatever he needed. If he wanted someone to train with him until he was strong enough to do it on his own, Kuroo was going to be that person. If he wanted a shoulder to cry on, Kuroo was going to be there for him. Whatever Bokuto needed, Kuroo was going to give it to him.

"We need to help him" he finally stated, his voice cracking. By his side, Akaashi nodded in agreement.

"Anything he needs" Akaashi echoed him, showing Kuroo that the two of them were thinking exactly the same thing.

* * *

The following days were painful for everyone who was around Bokuto during the day. Kuroo couldn't skip too many days of work, meaning that at some point he had to delegate taking care of Bokuto to someone else. His parents, of course, couldn't care less about work, and they were at the hospital all day every day, while both Kuroo and Akaashi kept going to visit every time they could. When they managed to free themselves at the same time, they liked to go there together, in order to team up to show Bokuto all of their support.

Bokuto had been awake for almost a week, when Kuroo and Akaashi entered his hospital room together, finding him alone staring at the closed window. He was sitting up on his bed, still unable to stand on his feet, with pretty much nothing to do all day if he didn't have someone to keep him company. He actually looked pretty bored, and that was the reason why he lit up like a Christmas tree the moment he saw the two of them enter the room.

"Why were you alone? Where are your parents?" Akaashi asked as the two of them approached the bed. They took turns to hug Bokuto, and maybe Kuroo lingered a little too much into that touch before letting go; Bokuto didn't seem to mind, anyway.

"A neighbor called. There was a short circuit at the house, or something. I didn't really understand what happened, but they had to go back. I hate being alone in here" Bokuto replied, giving half of an explanation of where his parents had gone when they were supposed to be with him.

It was the middle of the afternoon, meaning that most people were getting home from work at that time. Both Kuroo and Akaashi had been able to get free a little earlier than usual, and that was the reason why they'd gotten to the hospital so early. Luckily, considering that Bokuto looked like he really needed their company.

"Don't worry, we're here to keep you entertained now!" Kuroo stated, showing Bokuto a wide grin and giving him a thumbs up. From his hospital bed, his friend grinned back at him. He looked somehow happy, or at least not entirely depressed, which was definitely on the plus side of things.

"Are you going to dance for me?" Bokuto asked, joking. Or maybe he wasn't joking at all? After all, Kuroo could actually see him making that request for real. He felt like laughing at that, even though Akaashi didn't have quite the same reaction.

"No, what about talking?" he replied, showing a shy smile to his former team captain.

"Akaashi, you're still too serious. Kuroo is more fun than you. He's going to dance to entertain me" Bokuto said with a smirk on his face, and then he turned towards Kuroo, giving him a conspiratorial grin. "Isn't that right, Kuroo?" he asked, probably expecting an affirmative response.

It was true that, since they were back in high school, Kuroo had always followed Bokuto in whatever stupid thing he came up with. There was, however, still a limit to what he was ready to do in those situations. He still had a few shreds of dignity, after all, meaning that he wouldn't have embarrassed himself if Bokuto wasn't going to do the same exact thing right beside him. On a normal day, he would have told Bokuto to shove it where the sun doesn't shine, for making such a crazy request. In that moment, however, he found himself actually giving it a real thought. The only reason why he stopped himself from agreeing to do it was because he knew that Bokuto most likely wasn't being serious about it.

"Sure, and then what, jump through some hoops? What am I, a circus animal?" Kuroo commented with a sarcastic tone. His heart felt incredibly warm when he realized that his reply had just made Bokuto laugh. And not a fake laugh devoid of all emotions, like the ones he was doing lately. He was laughing for real, happiness showing from every single line on his face. He looked more beautiful than ever, even though he was still partially covered in bandages. At least, however, the bruises on his face had healed, meaning that he looked more like himself than he had in the past few weeks. And then, after laughing, he looked straight at Kuroo's eyes and pouted like a child, making both Kuroo and Akaashi laugh wholeheartedly.

Seeing him like that was refreshing. For a few minutes, Bokuto looked like his old self, and not that shell of the person he used to be that he'd demonstrated to have become since he'd woken up from the coma. He seemed to be more spirited and full of life. It was a sign that, even though his volleyball career was most likely over, his entire life wasn't. He could still be himself, he could still be happy, even if he couldn't play anymore. Kuroo just hoped that Bokuto could manage to understand that himself, because otherwise it would have only been worse going on.

"Instead of having Kuroo-san perform for you, how about reading something to pass the time? I can bring you a few manga if you want" Akaashi suggested. After all, he worked for a manga magazine now, therefore it was only fitting that he was going to bring Bokuto manga to read. To be honest, Kuroo had never pegged Akaashi for the kind of person who liked manga in the first place, and he wasn't surprised at all when he found out that a manga magazine hadn't been the other's first choice, but he sure wasn't complaining about the man's job, because that had given them some common ground to find things to talk about.

Bokuto seemed to appreciate the suggestion as well. "Yes, please. I'm sure I have a lot of new chapters to catch up with" he replied. Apparently, Bokuto was following the weekly issues of more than one manga, meaning that he had indeed a lot to read before he was all caught up.

"Oh, before I forget. Tomorrow dad is bringing me a new phone. Apparently, mine got crushed in the accident. So starting tomorrow we can also text, and you can keep me company when you're not here" Bokuto stated, a huge smile brightening his entire face. He was probably missing the point of the two of them having to _work_ when they weren't there, meaning that they didn't have time to text, but he didn't feel like telling Bokuto and destroying his happiness. If it meant making Bokuto smile, he would have gladly spent his entire day at work texting his friend, even if that meant getting fired over it. Knowing Akaashi, he probably would have just replied to Bokuto's texts after getting off work, while Kuroo was the more irresponsible one of them, and he would have actually put his own career at risk for Bokuto. It wasn't a reckless attitude he would have had for anyone else; it probably was only because he was so in love with Bokuto that he always felt the need to put the other's needs in front of his own, and fuck the consequences.

"Wonderful. Will you keep the same number? So that I can text you tomorrow and give you back mine" Kuroo asked, and Bokuto nodded, providing him with an affirmative reply. Good, it meant that starting the following day he was finally going to be able to talk to Bokuto like he did in the past, when they weren't busy all the time. As adults, they barely had any time for texting, at least not as much as they did when they were teenagers, and Kuroo had to admit that he had always missed it. Therefore, it was something it was worth getting yelled over at work. 

Just thinking about the possibility of texting Bokuto all day every day was making him feel happier. And judging by the expression on Bokuto's face, the other was feeling the same. Akaashi was the only one who was trying to be serious in that situation, as he always had done since high school every time that the two of them had decided to come up with one of their crazy ideas.

"You two are better not be thinking about texting all day" Akaashi stated out of the blue, attracting both Kuroo and Bokuto's attention. "You have work" he continued, pointing at Kuroo. "And you need to rest" he concluded towards Bokuto.

Both Kuroo and Bokuto blinked after hearing those words, exchanging another conspiratorial look, before turning towards Akaashi. At that point, they both showed him their best innocent smiles. The manga editor shook his head while rubbing his face, fingers reaching under his glasses. "Why do I even keep trying with you two?" he said rhetorically, making the other two laugh.

When visiting hours were over, Kuroo didn't feel completely guilty as he was leaving the hospital room with Akaashi. Bokuto seemed to be feeling better, and that was everything that mattered to him. There was a little smile on his lips as he walked out of the hospital, head completely lost in his own thoughts.

"You should help keeping him calm, you know. You should stop encouraging him too much. I'm afraid he'll get hurt" Akaashi's words brought him back to reality, hitting him with unexpected force. He was absolutely surprised by what his friend had just said.

"What do you mean?" he asked, trying to understand what Akaashi was telling him.

"I'm terrified that he'll push himself too hard and compromise his own recovery. We can't allow that to happen" the younger man stated, as he took off his glasses to polish them, before putting them back in place.

Kuroo had to admit that those words actually made sense. Bokuto wasn't the type to just sit still and do what he was told. He was an incredibly energetic person, and he most likely would have started to do more than he was supposed to if there wasn't someone there to stop him. He couldn't pace himself, and he wouldn't have been able to understand when it was too much. He could have started by spending too much time staring at the screen of a cellphone, and before anyone could intervene, he would have started to overdo it in physical therapy as well, risking to injure himself more. After all, Bokuto just wanted things to go back to the way they used to be, and he wouldn't have been able to stop until he got there. The people closest to him, the friends who cared about him the most, were those who should have stopped him.

In other words, Akaashi was right, and Kuroo was starting to feel like an idiot. He put both hands in the pockets of his pants, as he raised his head to look at the September sky. The sun had already set, making the air a little chilly, as Kuroo stared at the clouds illuminated by Tokyo's city lights. "I only want him to be happy, even if it’s just for a little bit" he finally stated, and only after he was done talking he realized how defeated his own voice had sounded.

"I know. But if we want him to be happy in the long run, his recovery needs to come first" Akaashi replied. Always the composed and collected one, just like he used to be back when they were teenagers. Kuroo wasn't sure who was the most intelligent between the two of them, but Akaashi sure was the most mature one, and he always managed to make Kuroo feel like a stupid kid. Sometimes it was incredibly unnerving, but he had to admit that at the moment it was also useful. He was risking to lose sight of what really mattered the most, therefore he was incredibly glad to have Akaashi by his side to remind it to him.

"I'm lucky to have you as a friend" Kuroo stated out of the blue, turning towards Akaashi and grinning at him. The other man rolled his eyes in a pretty obvious attempt to avoid looking at Kuroo; even though he was facing away, however, Kuroo could still see that he was blushing.

He wasn't aiming at embarrassing Akaashi, even though he was proud of himself for managing to do it nonetheless. He was just stating the truth, saying what had been on his mind for weeks now. For a very long time, he'd been asking himself what Bokuto saw in Akaashi that made him want to keep the younger man around, considering how completely different they were. Now he could see it for himself, realizing that Akaashi was actually pretty similar to Kenma, but way more patient. He almost found himself regretting not having gotten to know him better in the past, always considering him just as _Bokuto's friend_ and nothing else.

After Kuroo's words had managed to make Akaashi blush, the younger man didn't say a word, he just looked embarrassed and a little uncomfortable. Kuroo did his best not to laugh at that, but after a while he took pity on his friend and just smiled, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"Come on, dinner's on me" he said, and after that he started dragging Akaashi towards the parking lot.

* * *

Two weeks after waking up, Bokuto was supposed to start his physical therapy. Kuroo wanted to make sure to be there for him the first time, and for that reason he took yet another day off from work. His boss was starting to get really pissed at him for skipping so many days, but at the same time he was also allowing him to take all the days off he requested. The man was Bokuto's fan, after all, and he was probably only allowing Kuroo to skip work because he wanted Bokuto to feel better. The media still hadn't gotten any info regarding the end of Bokuto's career, and Kuroo had no intention of telling that to his boss, because the man's desire to see his favorite player back on the court was most likely the only reason why Kuroo still had a job, considering how he'd been behaving since the accident.

In order to start with physical therapy, Bokuto needed to get rid of the cast on his leg first. Since he'd broken his femur, it took quite some time for that to heal, and once the cast was off the doctors were going to determine if he was going to need additional surgery or if he could start trying to use his legs again. Considering that he'd ended up injuring his spine as well during the accident, he'd been completely forbidden to leave the bed until he could start physical therapy, meaning that for the first two weeks he'd been awake he'd only been able to sit up when someone helped him do it and move his arms without making excessive effort.

Kuroo had seen him sit around in bed and act like he was fine, but he knew well enough that Bokuto wasn't fine at all. Not yet, at least. But he was happy at the idea that his friend was probably finally going to leave that bed. He'd never even been able to move from the bed to a wheelchair until that moment, and the thought of him trying to stand up was something that was making Kuroo happy, as he drove to the hospital that morning. The second half of September brought along many cloudy days, but the temperature was still mild, and Kuroo was only wearing a t-shirt and a pair of jeans that day, even though he had brought a jacket with him considering that the temperature was going to go down in the evening.

As he reached the hospital, he immediately started walking towards Bokuto's room, his legs moving on their own. He'd spent so much time there during the past two weeks that he could have gotten there with his eyes closed. Once he arrived, he met his friend's parents, who were going to see him as well. They all got to the hospital pretty early in the morning, right at the beginning of visiting hours, so that they could give their loved one some moral support before the arrival of the doctor for the first day of physical therapy.

Bokuto was of course happy to see them, and at the same time he was also incredibly cheerful at the idea of starting physical therapy. He considered it as nothing more than training, as if he was preparing for a particularly difficult volleyball match. A nurse tried to explain to him that it wasn't exactly the same thing, but he refused to listen, and he was smiling from ear to ear as he greeted his parents and Kuroo, before shooing the nurse out of his room. The young woman rolled her eyes, as she had probably gotten used to Bokuto's antics now that he was awake, before leaving the room.

Half of the morning was already gone, when three doctors and a nurse entered the room. One of the doctors looked pretty young, and he appeared to be completely out of his element; he even looked at Bokuto almost with fear. Maybe he was an intern? Kuroo only gave that man a perplexed look, however, before concentrating on what one of the other doctors was saying. He was explaining the goals of the therapy that Bokuto was going to undergo, to the point where he was going to be able to stand up on his own and walk.

"What about playing volleyball?" Bokuto asked, a smile on his face. He was showing the doctor how firmly he believed in the fact that he was going to play again, and the way the medical staff looked back at him broke Kuroo's heart. They were clearly convinced that he was never going to play again.

"We thought you'd already been informed about your condition. Unfortunately, putting too much stress on your spine might cause you further injuries, you might even risk paralysis. You won't have problems walking, and maybe with years of exercise you'll be able to jog a little, but you'll never be able to jump again" the doctor explained.

Bokuto's mother let out a yelp, that was partially contained by the fact that her face was pressing against her husband's shoulder. Kuroo bit his lower lip, as his eyes trailed over everyone in the room to take in their expressions, before settling on Bokuto. As a professional volleyball player, who loved nothing more than he did the sport he played, it was only logical that Bokuto wanted to do anything in his power to be able to stand on the court again. He was also stubborn and not among the smartest people on the planet, therefore he didn't show many signs of having accepted the prognosis given by the doctor.

"I've heard that before, but I choose not to believe it" Bokuto stated in reply to the doctor's words, a smile always curving his lips. If he concentrated well enough, however, Kuroo could notice that said smile was only stopping at his lips, not reaching his eyes or any other part of his face. Maybe there was a part of Bokuto that deep down had acknowledged the truth of his situation, even though he was still mostly hoping to be able to go back to his old self.

"Do you understand that right now we're here to evaluate both your physical and mental conditions? We can't approve for you to start physical therapy until we're certain that your body can sustain the movement, and that you're mentally strong and prepared for what's coming. Because I'm not going to lie, it's going to hurt. It's going to be difficult, and you might not see progress for a long time" the doctor kept talking, his voice a little more concerned now. Bokuto, however, kept giving him an intense stare, even though the smile on his lips was starting to fade. In the meantime, the second doctor was studying Bokuto in silence from a distance, taking notes about something.

"I don't believe in giving up" he said, a genuine determination seeping through his words and making Kuroo feel incredibly proud of him.

The doctor didn't seem to be impressed, but he moved to get closer to the bed and forced Bokuto to lie down, since he had once again been helped into a sitting position. Once he was lying on the bed, the doctor started examining him, without even lifting the hospital gown that he was wearing. He just touched Bokuto's abdomen, and Kuroo could see him cringe at that, eyes closing shut as his face muscles started contracting in pain. The doctor's hands then moved up towards his chest, and the moment he applied a little pressure, Bokuto screamed so loud that he made everyone jump in surprise. Everyone except for the doctor who was examining him, who was probably expecting that reaction.

"Your broken ribs still haven't healed properly" he commented, taking his hands off of Bokuto in order to lift the sheet that was covering the lower part of his body. It was strange to see both of Bokuto's legs after so long, considering that the right one had been in a full cast since the accident. It was now free, and Kuroo immediately noticed how different it looked from the other one. It was scarred, held still by a brace. After weeks without moving, Bokuto's legs also looked less toned, as if he was probably starting to lose muscle. Bokuto's thighs had always been one of Kuroo's biggest obsessions since their high school days, yet in that moment he only felt sorry for his friend as he looked at his legs.

Once he had uncovered Bokuto's legs, the doctor moved to touch the injured one, making the patient hiss in pain once again, but he probably wasn't in as much pain as he'd been when the doctor had touched the upper part of his body. By the way the doctor was handling Bokuto's injuries, Kuroo supposed that he was an orthopedic surgeon or something like that. "Your leg is healing fine, though" the man stated, before bringing the sheet up to cover Bokuto once again. Then he pressed a button beside the bed in order to recline it to facilitate Bokuto into a sitting position, and after that he gave the nurse a hint with his head that she could put once again pillows behind his back to help him stay in that sitting position. She obliged, and after a short struggle Bokuto seemed to be able to sit. His breath, however, was heavy, and he was visibly still in pain. Kuroo couldn't do anything more than to feel sorry for him, and hope that things were going to get better soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to talk about Haikyuu or Bokuroo, you can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/SuperEllen4)!


	6. Kuroo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter introduces another one of the most recurrent characters of he story. He probably appeared as weird among the characters listed in the tags, but I promise that after this chapter his presence will make more sense. Also, this is the last one of the chapters that can be considered as an introduction to the story. Starting next week, we'll go more in depth into the plot, and the character POVs will change more frequently.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy the chapter. Any kind of feedback is always appreciated. :)

Once the physical evaluation was complete, the second doctor got closer and started asking Bokuto questions. He asked how he was feeling, still taking notes, and then explained what were the most realistic expectations he could have regarding his progress. Only once he was convinced enough that Bokuto had understood, he scribbled something more on the notebook he was holding, and then he nodded towards the first doctor who had examined Bokuto; with that, Kuroo was now certain that the second doctor was a shrink. The first doctor didn't seem to be exactly convinced of what they were doing, but then he turned towards the younger doctor who was accompanying them.

"Go get the physical therapist" the man ordered, and the younger doctor immediately ran out of the room. "Don't try to overdo it, or we'll have to interrupt the rehabilitation. If you strain yourself too much, you might risk needing surgery again" he then added towards Bokuto, who lowered his head to stare at the floor and didn't answer. After that, both doctors and the nurse left the room.

Bokuto didn't seem even a bit cheerful anymore. The doctor without a doubt wanted him to remain conscious of the reality of facts, as well as the risks caused by his current conditions, but he had probably been a bit too harsh, because Bokuto looked utterly depressed. There was no trace of a smile on his lips, either sincere or fake. His parents were now standing closer to the bed, and they were both trying to comfort their son by caressing his arms and face. Kuroo tried to approach him as well, but he was unsure of what to do. In the end, he decided to just take his hand and squeeze it. In reply, Bokuto squeezed back and raised his head to look at him. His eyes were full of sorrow, bottom lip trembling, making him look like a little child.

In such a difficult moment, Kuroo would have wanted to tell Bokuto everything that the other wanted to hear, but he didn't. He was stopped by the memory of Akaashi's words from a few days prior, when the younger man had told him that they couldn't encourage Bokuto into something that might have compromised his recovery. And telling him that he was going to prove the doctors wrong, that he was going to play again, would have only brought false hope to Bokuto. His friend would have fed off that hope, and because of that he would have overworked himself, at the cost of maybe injuring himself even further. Therefore, Kuroo kept any comments to himself and did his best to smile at the friend who needed his support.

It was only a few minutes later that the young doctor from before returned, followed by another man wearing scrubs, nose buried behind a tablet. Kuroo had spent enough time inside that hospital to know that the man was probably looking at Bokuto's chart, maybe reading the notes entered by the two doctors who had evaluated him a few minutes before. Only when he was beside the bed, the man lowered the tablet and smiled at Bokuto. Kuroo yelped, because he was indeed surprised to recognize the man standing now in front of him.

"Aren't you that guy from Karasuno? Ennoshita, is that right?" Kuroo couldn't stop himself from asking, because he still couldn't believe what he was seeing. One of his hands was still holding Bokuto's, but he brought the other to rub his eyes, before looking at the man once again. He could see that he had a small tag attached to his scrubs, bearing a picture of his face and his name. _Physical Therapist Ennoshita Chikara_ , stated the tag. Ennoshita smiled shyly at him, probably not expecting to be recognized.

"Kuroo-san. Bokuto-san. I'm sorry to meet you again in such a delicate situation" the therapist said, as he bowed slightly towards the two of them. At that point, even Bokuto looked at him, his face contracted in a concentrated expression. Kuroo wondered if he was trying to remember Ennoshita, considering that he had never been the best with faces and names, and after all it had been many years.

"Wait, I remember you, from training camp!" Bokuto finally stated, pointing a finger at Ennoshita's face with the hand that wasn't still intertwined with Kuroo's. Kuroo chuckled at the way his friend had finally recognized the other man, and then he chanced a glance at Bokuto's parents, who clearly had no idea of who Ennoshita was and why the two of them seemed to know him.

"Precisely. I wasn't sure if you were going to remember me. But I'm following Hinata's recovery, and he insisted that I'd be the one to take care of you as well" Ennoshita explained, and that obviously made a lot of sense to Kuroo. The man was Hinata's former teammate, meaning that the shrimp trusted him completely. Therefore, it was only logical that he had insisted for Ennoshita to be Bokuto's therapist as well. Bokuto seemed to get lost in thought when Ennoshita mentioned Hinata, but he still managed to nod.

At that point, Kuroo realized that he probably had to let go of Bokuto's hand, in order to leave Ennoshita enough room to get closer to his patient. As he did, Bokuto immediately turned towards him with a worried expression on his face, his hand trying to grab hold of Kuroo's again the moment the contact was over. Kuroo, however, smiled at him reassuringly, then moved towards the opposite side of the room, distancing himself from the bed. Bokuto's parents, who were standing on the other side of the bed, followed him soon after.

"Bokuto-san, what's going to come will probably be unpleasant. Do you want some privacy?" Ennoshita asked, a movement of his head going to point in the direction of Kuroo and Bokuto's parents. From his spot on the bed, Bokuto followed the physical therapist's eyes until he was looking at the three of them as well, pure panic portrayed on his face.

"But they can stay, right? I want them to stay" he immediately blurted out, probably a little desperate. He obviously didn't want to be left alone with the doctors, he wanted to keep the people who supported him close, considering how difficult the moment was going to be. Ennoshita seemed to understand; he had probably been in similar situations before, considering his job. Therefore, he just smiled at Bokuto and nodded in understanding, without mentioning the three of them again.

There was a moment of silence, in which Bokuto just looked towards his family and friend with what Kuroo recognized as longing, then Ennoshita started to talk again. "The first thing we're going to try is for you to sit up on your own. If I understand correctly, right now in order to sit up you have other people help you. But at this point in your recovery you might be able to do it on your own" the therapist stated, and Bokuto turned towards him smiling. Apparently he really liked the idea of becoming independent, at least for that.

"And then we can work on getting me to the bathroom like normal people, right?" he tried to ask, now sounding excited, and making Ennoshita laugh. Kuroo, however, couldn't blame him at all. He'd had his catheter removed a couple of days after waking up, but he still hadn't been able to leave the bed, meaning that he still needed an orderly's help for pretty much everything. Going to the bathroom was indeed something that would have brought a little more dignity to him, and for that reason he would have probably been a little happier as well. Therefore, Kuroo hoped that they could get to that point in Bokuto's recovery soon.

"Later on, we'll work on getting you into a wheelchair. If you manage to sit there, we can also get you to the bathroom. But one thing at a time. Remember, Bokuto-san, that you have suffered serious injuries, your ribs still aren’t entirely repaired, and the scars from your surgeries still haven't healed completely either. You can't make too many efforts, because if you contract your muscles too much you might risk bleeding, and that will mean interrupting any kind of rehabilitation" Ennoshita explained, making Bokuto pretty much deflate.

Seeing that his friend was losing all the enthusiasm he had obtained up to that moment, Kuroo tried to say something in order to get him back on track. "Come on, bro, stay positive. First sitting up, then everything else. You can do it!" he said, making sure to let his friend know that he was with him. Bokuto probably needed some encouragement, and Kuroo was of course happy to be there to give it to him. He was also proud to see that Bokuto's eyes brightened once again, even though just a little, and he flashed a smile in Kuroo's direction before turning with determination towards Ennoshita.

"I'm ready, boss. Whatever you want me to do" he stated, ready to start.

As Ennoshita helped Bokuto lie down once again, so that they could start working on sitting up, Kuroo felt a hand touch his own. The touch was delicate, and the hand small. He had started, during the past few weeks, to recognize that kind of touch pretty well, knowing that it was coming from Bokuto's mother.

"You're an amazing friend, Tetsurou. Koutarou is lucky to have you, and I'm so grateful to you for being so good to him" he heard. It was just a whisper, words that would have never reached Bokuto on the bed since he was too occupied complaining about Ennoshita's methods to realize that someone else inside the room was talking. Kuroo blushed when he heard her speak, but at the same time he had to admit that he felt guilty as well.

If his feelings towards Bokuto had only been of strong friendship, he would have been embarrassed but proud when hearing what his friend's mother had to say to him. But since he was actually in love with Bokuto, he felt that he didn't deserve those words of admiration. He had an ulterior motive when he acted with affection towards Bokuto, after all, because his feelings were more intense than they were supposed to be. Therefore of course he was always ready to be there for Bokuto, since he was in love with him. And that made him feel like he couldn't look at his friend's mother, when she complimented him for being such a good friend.

He had, however, to take a deep breath and try to ignore that feeling eating at his insides. If Akaashi had been there at the moment, the younger man would have probably taken his hand, or grabbed his arm firmly, trying to ground him. To be honest, Kuroo would have loved to have Akaashi there in such a situation. But unfortunately the other still had to work, and he couldn't take as many days off as Kuroo did, therefore he had to start learning to adapt in situations where Akaashi wasn't there.

He took a deep breath, then he turned towards Bokuto's parents, giving his friend's mother a smile. He tried to make it as sincere as possible, and she probably bought it, because she smiled back to him, before they all went back to looking at their loved one as he was undergoing his first physical therapy session.

From what he could see from his position, Kuroo noticed that Bokuto looked in pain. Ennoshita was explaining to him how to move in order to avoid further injuring those parts of his body that were still trying to heal, but he had to admit that it wasn't easy at all. There were several movements that probably were coming naturally to anyone but that Bokuto wasn't allowed to do at the moment, and he had to substitute them with others instead. Which was pretty difficult, at least based on the fact that Bokuto was complaining about it.

"Are you sure that I can't just do it the same way as always?" Bokuto whined after he tried for a couple of times to follow Ennoshita's instructions and failed miserably. It looked like he was indeed in pain, but not as much as Kuroo had initially feared, which was definitely an improvement. Ennoshita gave his patient a conspiratorial grin.

"Sorry, but no" the doctor said, before putting a hand on Bokuto's abs. Kuroo felt his own face flush as he watched Ennoshita feel the muscles under his hand, with the complete innocence of someone who was giving his patient a professional touch. Kuroo envied both Ennoshita and Bokuto for not seeing anything sexual in that touch; he himself would have never been able to touch Bokuto like that, because such an intimate touch would have awoken any kind of thoughts and sensations that he definitely couldn't afford to have in front of his friend.

"Does it hurt when I touch here?" Ennoshita asked, and Bokuto shook his head, giving him a silent reply. "And now?" the therapist asked once again, this time probably applying a little pressure to his touch. Bokuto screamed, making Kuroo jump in surprise. His first instinct was to run to his friend's side and rip Ennoshita's hand off, but he had to force himself into more rational thoughts and stay exactly where he was. He couldn't stop, however, an expression of rage from surfacing on his face.

"I just pressed on your abs a little. You have firm muscles, meaning that they get incredibly rigid when you flex them. And if usually that's an advantage, in this situation not so much. If you contract your abs, the hardened muscle will press against your internal injuries, making it worse. This is the reason why you have to listen to me instead of trying to contract any muscles in your abdomen. Or do you want to bleed again?" Ennoshita explained, and Kuroo had to admit that it made a lot of sense. Those words made him calm down a little, and he even managed to take a deep breath.

"Okay, I understand" Bokuto answered to Ennoshita's words, even though he sounded a little defeated. Apparently, he would have still wanted to try doing things his own way, but maybe he understood that he still needed to follow what the doctor was saying. After all, among all of them Ennoshita was the only one who really knew what was best given Bokuto's situation, and therefore he needed to be the one to say what his patient had to do.

What Ennoshita was trying to teach Bokuto was a correct way to position his back, so that no muscles would contract in his abdomen as he used only his arms, which hadn't sustained any damage, to lift himself. Ennoshita was standing by his side, a hand behind his back to help him maintain the correct position. The younger doctor, who had been silent the entire time, was standing at Bokuto's other side, mimicking Ennoshita's moves and following the instructions given by the physical therapist. He was probably still learning from more expert doctors what he was supposed to do in that kind of situation. Kuroo wasn't sure that having inexperienced hands touching Bokuto's body in such a critical situation was the best idea, but he was no one to criticize the way doctors worked in that hospital. After all, the doctors in that hospital were the ones who had saved Bokuto's life in the first place, and Hinata's as well.

After a few minutes, Bokuto had been able to sit up and lie back down a few times, but still with Ennoshita and the other young doctor helping him. He was managing to do most of the work himself, actually putting the effort with his arms, but at the same time he couldn't still maintain the correct position without Ennoshita's hands behind him.

Ennoshita was the one to decide that they had had enough for one session, and he stopped the exercises. He told Bokuto that he was going to come back to try again in the evening, and that in the meantime he shouldn't have tried to repeat the exercises on his own. It would have been risky for him, because if he'd managed to use the incorrect form, he would have only hurt himself. He needed to exercise only when a physical therapist was there, at least until he was able to use the correct movements.

When Ennoshita said goodbye and left, followed but the other young doctor, Kuroo and Bokuto's parents approached the bed again. Bokuto was sitting up, back propped against the pillows, as the physical therapist had left him in that position before exiting the room. Bokuto had his arms crossed, and he was pouting. He also looked in pain, because that position was probably not the exact ideal for his injured ribs. Kuroo tried to force him to unfold his arms in order to take his hand, and only after a few tries Bokuto finally accepted. He seemed to relax, however, when one of his hands was in Kuroo's and the other in his father's.

"It's okay, Kou. You'll get there" his mother tried to encourage him, but Bokuto was still pouting, eyes a little red. Was he trying not to cry?

"But I really wanted to pee in a toilet..." he whined. Kuroo couldn't blame him, though. He probably would have complained the same way, had he been stuck in the other's position. He'd never been in such a situation himself, therefore he had no experience with whatever his friend was going through, but he had to admit that not having any kind of independence had to be horrible. He really couldn't blame Bokuto for wanting so badly to at least be able to go to the bathroom.

"At some point you will. For now, just try not to do anything stupid, okay? You heard what Ennoshita said" Kuroo tried to keep him calm, smiling at him with the most encouraging expression he could manage to put on. Bokuto didn't seem to be entirely convinced as he looked at him, at least considering the grimace on his face, but it was still better than nothing. At least he wasn't complaining anymore, and that was a conquest in Kuroo's opinion.

After that, they all remained with him until lunch time, when they took turns to go eat. Kuroo was the first one to leave, and after eating a terrible sandwich from the hospital cafeteria, he walked back to the room in order to tag Bokuto's parents out. When they were gone, he sat down on a chair next to the bed and rested his crossed arms on the mattress, looking at Bokuto with a friendly smile on his face. He was aware of the fact that he needed to do something to help Bokuto keep his positive attitude, but at the same time without encouraging him to do anything reckless, otherwise Akaashi would have killed him.

"What are you smiling at?" Bokuto asked him all of a sudden, noticing his expression.

"Nothing. I'm just happy to see you sitting up and talking. If you can complain about using the bathroom, it means that you really are better. You know, I got so scared... for weeks I was terrified" Kuroo replied with sincerity. He wasn't going to tell Bokuto that he loved him, not at such a time of course, but he still wanted to make sure that the other knew how much he cared, how worried he'd been, and how happy he was to finally be able to talk to Bokuto again and having him reply.

At those words, Bokuto blushed a little, but after that he gave Kuroo a huge grin, one that seemed to be genuinely happy. "It's still thanks to you that I'm back, you know" he commented, and at that point it was Kuroo's turn to blush. He would have never admitted it out loud, but his chest contracted and his heart sped up every time that Bokuto mentioned how he'd basically heard Kuroo calling for him when he was trying to wake up. It was weird, but at the same time it was also incredibly flattering. It made Kuroo feel warm inside, and it gave him hope that maybe, after all, Bokuto might have had feelings beyond regular friendship for him as well.

"By the way, regarding the bathroom..." Bokuto said all of a sudden, recapturing Kuroo's attention. "One of the reasons why I want to be able to use it is because there are a couple of very hot orderlies, and I'd like them to see me naked while doing more interesting things, you know. How can I try to woo them if they need to help me pee or worse?" he explained his logic, making Kuroo shiver.

Leave it to Bokuto to say the most unexpected and also inappropriate thing in such a delicate situation. Kuroo wanted to laugh, considering what Bokuto's main concern was at the moment: hitting on the orderlies. At the same time, however, he felt something agitating inside his stomach, because in the worst moment of his life Bokuto was talking to him about hitting on other people, while Kuroo was sitting there beside him pining like a fool. But he knew that he couldn't let his own feelings get in the way of whatever Bokuto needed, so he forced himself to smile.

"I can't believe you just said that!" he commented, slamming a hand against his own forehead as he shook his head, letting go of a forced laugh, since there was actually nothing amusing about that situation. "Can't you think about recovering before thinking about sex again?"

Bokuto snickered at that. "But I can't recover without thinking about sex!" he explained his point of view, and Kuroo wasn't sure if at that point he wanted to laugh for real or just punch Bokuto in the face. Since he didn't want to compromise his friend's recovery, he settled for laughing. And so he did, almost falling off his chair.

"What's so funny? Do you have any idea of how difficult it is to go this long without sex?" Bokuto tried to complain, making Kuroo shake his head once more. At times Bokuto could really be an oblivious idiot, that was for sure. He was so used to people pining after him, that he barely had to do anything if he wanted to sleep with someone. Kuroo, on the other hand, was beginning to forget what sex felt like, considering how long had been since his last relationship. He wasn't the kind of person who slept around, not anymore at least, therefore he hadn't done anything sexual with another person since the end of his last relationship three years before. None of his relationships had ever lasted long either, because it was difficult to be with someone when his entire body was screaming for Bokuto.

"I haven't had sex in three years, you know. I understand your pain" Kuroo informed the other, a smile still curving his lips, but Bokuto shook his head with a serious expression when he heard those words.

"No, you really don't. After three years, I bet you even forgot you have a dick. Mine, on the other hand, used to be very active until I got stuck in this bed" Bokuto stated, before scoffing in a pretty theatrical way. On a normal day, Kuroo would have playfully slapped Bokuto's head for saying something like that; but considering the situation, he knew that he really couldn't. Therefore, he simply folded his arms against his chest and pouted in a very Bokuto way.

"You're disgusting and I'm offended" he lied, trying to get a reaction out of his friend. Okay, maybe he wasn't entirely lying though. Sure, nothing Bokuto said would have ever been enough to disgust him, but at the same time he was actually a little offended. He would have loved to be able to have sex freely, but he couldn't, because his heart belonged to someone he couldn't have, and therefore his body refused to react in front of other people. He only wanted Bokuto, meaning that he was basically ruined for anyone else. And the fact that Bokuto was making fun of him for it was hurting him, even when his friend had no idea of Kuroo's feelings towards him. It still felt a little humiliating, even though Kuroo knew that the other wasn't doing it out of malice or anything like that. He was probably just not realizing that his words might have had a different effect than intended on Kuroo.

The conversation, luckily, didn't have time to go on much longer, because soon Bokuto's parents were back from their very short lunch break, and they obviously couldn't keep talking about sex and dicks in front of them. Which was a blessing, because Kuroo really didn't like the direction that conversation had taken. He definitely preferred to be forced to change the subject without having to admit that the previous topic of conversation was making him uncomfortable. Because it was pretty normal for two buddies to talk about sex, especially when one of them had no sense of boundaries, but for Kuroo having that kind of conversation with Bokuto was definitely horrible.

If Akaashi had been there, he would have given Kuroo a concerned look, but he would have also used his eyes to silently scold him. And he would have been right, because Kuroo was well aware of the fact that he was the fool who had put himself in that uncomfortable position in the first place. He just would have needed to tell Bokuto that he didn't want to hear about his sex life in order to spare himself some heartache. But he was an idiot, and that was the reason why he'd kept the conversation going until his friend's parents had come back.

The afternoon was uneventful, and in the evening Akaashi arrived right after the second round of physical therapy. Once again, Ennoshita helped Bokuto try to sit up, and once again there was no progress at all. They had to cut short with the attempts, however, when Ennoshita noticed that Bokuto's eyes were swelling, and that he was struggling to hold back the tears. Ennoshita was leaving the room when Akaashi walked in, and the two of them stared at each other for a few seconds, before greeting each other with a quick hug. After that, Ennoshita was gone.

"What was that?" Kuroo asked, perplexed, since he didn't expect Akaashi to hug someone, especially some former Karasuno player everyone was barely remembering. Akaashi shrugged at that.

"We've been captains together in our third year, we bonded" the manga editor informed the others, using a casual tone as he spoke. Bokuto blinked in surprise, letting go of a comment regarding how he would have never imagined that guy to have become captain after Sawamura, and that he had always thought it was going to be Tanaka. Kuroo, on the other hand, was more surprised by the fact that Akaashi was interacting with the guy as if they'd been good friends or something like that. In the past he'd only seen Akaashi touch Bokuto, because Bokuto was the one who initiated the contact, and Kuroo himself, because they had needed to give each other support since Bokuto’s accident. Other than that, Akaashi had always seemed to be the kind of person who kept his hands to himself. Well, Kuroo stored that thought for later. He was going to tease Akaashi about it once they got kicked out of the hospital at the end of visiting hours. In the meantime, he wanted to concentrate on Bokuto.

For a little while, Akaashi monopolized Bokuto's attention, considering that he'd just arrived, while the other people had been there for the entire day. The two of them chatted a little about nothing in particular, Akaashi mostly talked about his day at work. Kuroo only listened to part of what the younger man was saying, hearing though that he was mentioning the manga he was currently editing. It was actually a work Kuroo had been following since it first came out, that was about volleyball. Kuroo thought it was great, and he was actually pretty curious to read its next chapters, as soon as they were going to get published.

As Bokuto and Akaashi chatted, Bokuto's parents went to the cafeteria to grab something to eat. Kuroo was about to walk out after them, considering that he was starving, but since Akaashi was there it only made sense for him to ask the other man if he had dinner plans first.

"Have you eaten, Akaashi? Because I'm actually starving, but if you haven't had dinner yet I can still wait, and we can eat together after we get kicked out of here" Kuroo suggested, and he didn't miss Bokuto's curious look as that exchange started.

"I haven't eaten, and it will be fine for me to have dinner together after. My place? I have fresh fish, we can make sushi" Akaashi replied, making Kuroo's entire face brighten. Sushi? Well, he loved fish, therefore it was only obvious that he was thrilled to accept Akaashi's offer.

"You got yourself a deal!" he stated, showing Akaashi his fist. The other gave him a shy smile, before awkwardly bumping his fist.

At that point, they both turned towards Bokuto, who was staring at the two of them incredulously. He kept shifting his gaze from one of them to the other, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing, and then a smug grin appeared on his lips, as he kept looking from Akaashi to Kuroo and vice versa. Kuroo didn't understand why his friend was acting like that, and apparently Akaashi didn't either, as he had the same oblivious expression as Kuroo.

"What's with that face?" Kuroo asked, curious to understand what Bokuto was thinking about.

"You two sure are spending a lot of time together, lately. Akaashi never lets anyone inside his house" Bokuto commented, and Kuroo's attention moved towards Akaashi. Was that true? He'd often been invited inside by Akaashi for a drink or a dinner, to talk or even just to sit on the couch in silence side by side. He'd never thought that the other had any kind of problems with letting people inside his apartment. Akaashi's reaction to Bokuto's words, however, was a sigh.

"I let people inside just fine. It's you I have a problem with" Akaashi informed the other, making Kuroo chuckle, especially when Bokuto replied with a pout that would have made any three-year-old proud.

"Is it because of the chocolate fondue incident? Because I told you that I'm sorry at least a thousand times..." Bokuto tried to inquire, only making Akaashi shake his head as he sighed some more. He didn't look like he was mad or annoyed, just resigned. Kuroo wondered how many times the two of them had already had that same exact conversation, at that point. And a part of him was also curious to find out what exactly had Bokuto done with chocolate fondue in order to get banished for life from Akaashi's apartment; he was probably going to ask Akaashi about it during dinner.

Not long after that, Bokuto's parents came back, and they all started a conversation that would have allowed everyone to participate. Bokuto was smiling, probably happy because he had his favorite people around, and Kuroo was reveling in that amazing sight. Every time he saw Bokuto relax and actually enjoy himself notwithstanding his situation, Kuroo always felt something warm moving in his chest. He couldn't tell what that was, but he knew that it was some kind of happy feeling that only seeing Bokuto smile could awake in him.

Then, before any of them could even realize it, visiting hours were over and a nurse kindly asked everyone to leave. She was one of the nurses who usually worked that shift, meaning that she was also used to repeating herself every time she needed to make someone leave Bokuto's room. Kuroo wouldn't have been surprised if at some point she was going to physically remove them all from the room, considering that she looked big enough to at least give them a good fight. They didn't want to try their luck too much, though, therefore they all said goodbye to Bokuto and left.

"Have a nice dinner!" Bokuto yelled after them as Kuroo and Akaashi were walking out of the room. Akaashi only raised an arm in salute as he kept walking, while Kuroo turned around to see Bokuto waving at them, a huge grin on his face that was showing most of his teeth. He seemed to be absolutely amused. The moment he was out of the room, he addressed Akaashi on the matter.

"What was that?" he asked, hoping that the other had the answers he couldn't comprehend on his own. His friend, however, just shrugged.

"It's Bokuto-san, I made peace a long time ago with the fact that I'll never truly understand him" the younger man stated, and Kuroo nodded beside him as they walked towards the elevator behind Bokuto's parents.

Bokuto's reaction had indeed been curious, but now that they were leaving the hospital, a more important thought took residence in Kuroo's mind: dinner. He could have kept remembering Bokuto's grinning face later, after filling his stomach with the sushi that Akaashi had promised him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to talk about Haikyuu or Bokuroo, you can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/SuperEllen4)!


	7. Bokuto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From this chapter on, we'll start getting a little more into the actual story. We'll actually get more and more into it during the next few updates, gradually adding new elements to the plot.  
> I would like to thank all the readers who take the time to leave some feedback. I really appreciate it! :)

Life inside the hospital was boring. Bokuto's main activity, during the day, was to lie in bed. He couldn't move, he couldn't do pretty much anything. All he was able to do was to watch TV, stare out of the window from a distance, read some manga and sleep. He'd always hated to be alone, but now that he was living in a hospital bed, he hated it even more. He would have wanted to have his friends and family always with him, and once he even managed to throw a tantrum when his parents were leaving. All he got from that action, however, was a high dose of pain medication because he'd moved too much, and his mother leaving his room with tears in her eyes. After that day, he'd kept his opinions for himself, but sometimes he couldn't help but stare at the people he cared about with kicked puppy eyes when they were leaving. He wasn't even doing it on purpose, it just happened sometimes, before he could even think about what he was doing.

For days he'd thought about finally starting physical therapy, imagining how smoothly his progress was going to go. He was sure that he was going to be walking around the room in a day, and in a week he was going to be able to have lunch on his own in the hospital cafeteria. He also imagined himself going to the gym in two weeks and back on the court in a month. Reality, of course, wasn't anything like what he had expected. His first day of physical therapy had been utter torture, where doctors had prodded and poked him like some kind of lab rat, making him scream in pain in front of his parents and Kuroo. In those moments, a part of him wanted to tell Ennoshita that he'd changed his mind, that he wanted those three to leave, because he really hated that they got to see him like that. At the same time, however, another part of him would have wanted for them to just take his hands and give him strength.

In addition to the pain, there was the fact that he wasn't making any progress. And he was aware of the fact that he'd been told progress was going to be slow, over an extended period of time, but he still couldn't stop thinking about his own idea of his recovery, that saw him back to playing volleyball in no time. His brain was clearly not listening to what the doctors had been trying to tell him, that much was obvious. And okay, maybe it was going to take a little longer than he'd first imagined, but still... how could he have been unable to sit up on the first day?

In order to move from a lying positing to a sitting one, he'd always done a very specific movement, that contracted the muscles in his abdomen. It was the most natural thing to do. Asking him to do something different would have been like telling him to breathe from his ears! Because for as much as he tried to only use the muscles of his arms, he still ended up flexing his abdominal muscles anyway, and in the long run he would have hurt himself, according to Ennoshita. It was making him go insane, because right now if he wanted to sit up he needed someone else to press a button in order to lift the bed, and then someone needed to hold him in position as they slid pillows behind his back, and only then he was able to relax against the pillows and actually sit. It was pretty pathetic, to be honest. He was a strong, well-built Olympic gold medalist in his late twenties; he couldn't accept to spend his days acting like some bed-bound old geezer!

He had never imagined, however, that just trying to sit up in a bed was going to be so difficult. If that was the actual rhythm of his improvement, he was soon going to start believing what the doctors were saying about his recovery, and he really didn't want to. He wanted to stay positive and only think about what he was going to do _after_ his recovery. He wanted to go back to the Black Jackals and spike Tsum-Tsum's awesome tosses. He wanted to win every game, and now that Kageyama and Ushijima had left Japan, not even the Adlers were a match for them anymore. He wanted to confirm his role as the best ace in all of Japan. He was at the top of his career, and he wanted to go back to it before it was too late.

Alone in his room, Bokuto sighed as he let himself fall even deeper in the pillows he was resting against, leaning his head back to stare at the lights on the ceiling. At the moment, he would have given anything to have his friends staying with him. Even though, thinking about his friends, there was something strange about them lately. Since the moment he woke up from the coma, he'd always known that Akaashi and Kuroo had somehow bonded during the time he was out. Seeing the two of them interact together, however, was starting to give out strange vibes, and Bokuto had a very specific idea of how to interpret them.

The more he watched the two of them together, the clearer it was. How much they gravitated around each other, how they exchanged secret looks and little smiles. And he'd also been able to notice a few lingering touches, which were indeed incredibly out of character when it came to Akaashi. If those clues weren't enough, just that evening Kuroo had given a demonstration of jealousy when Akaashi had hugged Ennoshita. And that casual invite to dinner? Not to mention Akaashi speaking so naturally of having Kuroo over to his house, as if that was the most obvious thing in the universe.

In Bokuto's opinion, what was happening was as clear as day: Kuroo and Akaashi were a thing. And even if they weren't one yet, then they absolutely needed to get together, because they seemed like the cutest couple in the universe. Bokuto really wanted his best friends to be happy, and even though knowing that they were together made him feel a little left out, he was still incredibly happy for them. Therefore he had every intention of making sure that they were together, and if it turned out that they actually weren't, he was going to do everything in his power to make sure that they became the couple they deserved to be. Moreover, playing matchmaker with his two best friends was definitely going to give him something do to with his spare time, which was always on the plus side.

He spent the rest of the evening trying to find the right words in order to ask Akaashi and Kuroo if they were together or not, because he didn't want to appear rude. Moreover, if they weren't a couple yet, there was still the possibility that each of them didn't know about the other's feelings, making the situation more delicate to handle. Bokuto needed to be extremely careful while talking to the two of them, considering that he wanted to help them and not to make things worse for them. Finding the best words to use, however, was an arduous task, and when he fell asleep that night, Bokuto still didn't have the slightest idea of what to say, meaning that he was most likely going to improvise. Which was never good, especially when he was the one doing it.

* * *

The following morning, Ennoshita entered Bokuto's room right after breakfast, before the beginning of visiting hours. "How are you feeling today?" he asked, giving him a smile that actually made Bokuto feel a little better. But he couldn't get fooled by the man's polite behavior, because he had a mission to accomplish. He needed to make sure that Akaashi and Kuroo had actually found their happiness together, or that they were going to find it soon, and therefore he needed to make sure that Ennoshita didn't do anything to break them up.

Bokuto eyed his physical therapist with suspicion instead of answering his question. "Let's say that I reply to your question, and you reply to mine, okay?" he tried to bargain. Ennoshita was probably too naïve, or just too kind towards his patients, because he agreed without even asking Bokuto what his question was first.

"I'm feeling fine, but a little restless maybe. I still can't move and I hate it. And my abdomen hurts. Now your turn" he stated, moving quickly past his recovery status and going immediately where he wanted to get. "Do you have feelings for Akaashi? Like _he's in a relationship and I want to break them up_ feelings?" he asked maybe a little too bluntly.

Ennoshita jumped at his question, probably not expecting for the conversation to go in that direction. Was he imagining that Bokuto was going to ask him about his recovery time or something related to volleyball? Well, he was wrong. Bokuto wanted to preserve the honor of his best friends. If they wanted to be a couple and leave him out, then the best he could do for them was to show them his support by protecting their union. Ennoshita, however, blinked a few times, as he started to palpate Bokuto's abdomen.

"Why would I have any feelings for Akaashi-kun? We're old acquaintances from high school, nothing other than that. I don't even like guys that way" the physical therapist replied, visibly embarrassed by the question he'd been asked, but still willing to honor their agreement. He was a man of his word, Bokuto could concede him that.

From his position on the bed, Bokuto kept scrutinizing the other man, trying to understand if he was sincere or if he was lying. It seemed like he was telling the truth, though. He was straight, then. Well, his mistake; after all, the hug he had exchanged with Akaashi could have easily been mistaken for something different. But at least now he knew that he could be sure about something: Ennoshita wasn't going to be a threat, and Kuroo didn't need to be jealous anymore. He was going to tell his friend exactly that, as soon as he was coming to visit him. "Good" he stated.

Ennoshita kept giving him strange looks, as he prepared everything in order to start their physical therapy session. Bokuto wasn't sure of what those looks could mean. Soon, however, they started with their session. Ennoshita kept instructing him on which muscles to use, but it was still very difficult not to contract his abdomen at all as he moved. After trying a couple of times, however, Bokuto finally managed to move his body by keeping his abdomen completely relaxed. He was putting all of his body weight on his arms, but he was strong and he knew that his body could take it. As he was feeling proud of himself for the success he'd accomplished, he looked in Ennoshita's direction and smiled.

"I did it! Can I walk now?" he tried to ask, even though he suspected that Ennoshita was not going to give him the reply that he would have wanted to receive. 

"You're going to hurt yourself if you try to walk too soon. What's your boyfriend going to think about that?" Ennoshita told him in reply, giving him a friendly smile. That answer, however, made Bokuto blink in disbelief. Boyfriend? What boyfriend was he talking about? He didn't have any boyfriend! Also, how did Ennoshita even know that he was into guys in the first place? He was pretty sure that only his closest friends were aware of the fact that he could be attracted to all genders. Had someone blabbered about it to his doctor?

"What are you talking about? I don't have a boyfriend" he stated, making sure to look at Ennoshita dead in the eyes. He wanted to make sure that the other understood that he was wrong. And the physical therapist showed him a surprised expression at that.

"Oh, sorry. I thought you were seeing Akaashi-kun, considering your question earlier. I thought you didn't like the fact that we hugged yesterday, or something like that. After all, back in high school everyone was saying that you two… well, whatever" Ennoshita explained, rambling a little and making Bokuto shake his head.

"Yes, yes, high school. We dated, like a million years ago. But now, me and Akaashi? Gross! We’re just friends. He's dating Kuroo, not me! And I’ll never forgive anyone who gets between them!" he made sure to inform the former Karasuno player, adding an empty threat just to make sure that the other knew what he was putting himself into. The physical therapist seemed a little surprised at his explanation, but he didn't say anything more on the subject. He just apologized for the wrong assumption and went back to work.

"Before you can try to walk, you need to get the muscles on your legs functioning again. You've been still for too long, I will need to help you rehabilitate your legs before you can try to stand on them. And even when you'll start to stand, at first you'll have to use crutches, because the injured leg won't be able to withstand the full weight of your body. You're losing muscle as you lay in bed, but you're still huge, and the sleeping muscles on your leg won't like it a bit" Ennoshita explained, and Bokuto appreciated the fact that the other was using simple words. At least he was able to understand what he was saying, because he would have never been able to follow the discussion otherwise.

"Okay, okay, I get it. Let's get started then! I really want to be able to get off this bed as soon as possible, and back on the court!" he stated in reply, showing how determined he was to reach his goal. Ennoshita's expression changed.

"Bokuto-san, how many times do we need to tell you? You won't be able to play volleyball anymore. I'm so sorry, but no amount of physical therapy will be able to give you back what you had" the other man patiently said, and Bokuto shook his head.

He was refusing to listen, because he really didn't like what Ennoshita was saying. He hated everything that the doctors were always saying regarding his recovery. He wanted to believe that he was going to go back to playing, because if he was the first one to give up, then he would have never been able to succeed. He wanted to go back to the court; he needed to. And for that he needed to recover, that much was obvious. He wanted to show everyone what he was made of.

Inside, however, he was feeling very differently. He was terrified, because volleyball was his entire life, and who was he even going to be if he couldn't be the best volleyball player out there? What was going to be left of him, if he really had to leave volleyball behind for good? He didn't even want to think about it. He wanted to keep hoping that there was still a future for him, but he was afraid of the consequences in case there wasn't anything else waiting for him. Was he even going to be able to look at his own reflection in a mirror, if he wasn't a volleyball player anymore? Was he ever going to feel like himself again? Who was even Bokuto Koutarou outside the court? What did he have?

Sure, his first thought was for his parents and his best friends, but what else? He had no other connections, nothing special to look forward to. He was only the third wheel in two couples that he loved with all of his heart. And soon he was also going to lose Hinata as well, because his friend had told him that as soon as he was going to feel better, he was going back to the court and moving outside of Japan in order to look for other volleyball teams. He was thinking about moving back to Brazil, and Bokuto was going to be completely alone. Hinata was the person he was the closest to on his current team. If he couldn't have him anymore, he was really going to be left alone with couples who cared about him but also needed some time away from him.

What about him, then? Was there even a person he could have had something special with? There wasn't anyone he actually liked that much, he hadn't liked pretty much anyone since he'd ended his relationship with Akaashi, at the beginning of his professional career. The two of them had only been together about a year, and back then Bokuto had been a dreamer, certain that the two of them were meant to be forever, but they'd ended up drifting apart too easily, and he didn't even know why. All he knew was that their feelings had changed on their own, and what he thought was love had reverted back to a great friendship. Now he couldn't even think about himself and Akaashi that way; it sounded just _wrong_. He still wanted to feel something again, though. It had been too long since the last time he had really had strong feelings for someone, as he was mostly just having sex with people and not caring about anything else, his relationships nothing more than flings.

"Bokuto-san? Are you okay?" he heard a voice ask, snapping him out of his own head and back to the present. He noticed that Ennoshita was giving him a strange look, and that he seemed to be worried about him.

"Did I hurt you?" the man asked, and Bokuto shook his head. He hadn't even realized that the other was lifting and flexing his legs, so how could he have noticed any pain at all? It took him a few seconds, however, to realize that there were tears running down his face. He was crying. He really was pathetic! No, he couldn't allow his life to end, leaving him as just this empty sack of meat on a hospital bed. He was going back to volleyball, even if it killed him!

"It's okay, I just spaced out. You're not hurting me, you can continue" he informed Ennoshita, to let him understand that he was good to go for another round. In the meantime, he quickly rubbed the tears away from his cheeks.

"Maybe it's better if we stop here for now. We can continue later this evening, I'll come to see you for your evening session at about the same time as yesterday, and we can continue from where we left off. In the meantime, I suggest that you rest a bit, and I don't mean just your body, but your head as well. If your mind is not in the right place, you won't be feeling the benefits from the physical therapy. Recovery is force of will as much as it is medicine" Ennoshita explained, giving him a gentle smile. Bokuto was starting to hate that smile, because it could partially make him feel calmer, and he didn't want to be more calm. He wanted to break the world, and quicken his recovery pace as much as possible.

"I'm willing to recover, trust me. Nobody wants to get back on their feet as much as I do" he said, determined eyes looking directly at Ennoshita. The other shook his head.

"I know. But you have to do it gradually, or you'll just make it worse. I’m just asking you to please trust me and do as I say" the doctor replied, and Bokuto sighed while slowly nodding his head. he was going to listen to Ennoshita... for now.

Soon, however, Ennoshita was gone, visiting hours were starting, and he was still alone. Both Kuroo and Akaashi needed to work, he knew that. They had a life outside of his hospital room and they had each other, he couldn't demand that they'd be with him all the time. Even though he had to admit that he only felt really at ease when they went to see him. As for his parents, they were spending probably too much time in that hospital room, and he was grateful to them for what they were sacrificing in order to be able to stay with him all the time. He would have wanted to have the strength to tell them to go, to live a little, have fun for a couple of days. But he was selfish, and he wanted them to be with him all the time. That was the reason why he never told them to go, and he always looked at them with affection when they were with him.

Visiting hours had started a while ago, and his parents still weren't there. Was that the day they had finally gone back to work? Were they going to abandon him as well, leaving him all alone in that hospital bed? He hated to stay there, he wanted to go home. But he was aware of the fact that he couldn't really leave the hospital until he was able to at least leave the bed. He needed to be able to do stuff on his own, if he wanted to be allowed to go back home. Especially considering that he did live alone, after all. His first goal was to manage to go to the bathroom on his own. Maybe if he still couldn't stand up, he could have used a wheelchair in order to move around, as many people did inside the hospital. He was definitely going to ask Ennoshita about that option when he was going to come back to him in the evening.

He took his new phone and started scrolling down his contact list. Who could he call to keep him company? Everyone he knew was at work, all of them too busy to give him the attentions that he desired. Well, all of them except one. There was one friend who was pretty much in the same situation as he was, even though he was at home and he was allowed to move around on his own. That was the reason why he called Hinata.

"Bokuto-saaaaaaan!" the younger man yelled as soon as he answered the phone. It was almost mid-morning, and the other had probably been awake for quite some time at that point. As always, he was a bundle of energy who managed to make Bokuto feel better just by hearing his voice. There was also the fact that, since the accident, Bokuto had been a little obsessed with Hinata's voice, since it had been pretty much what he'd heard the most during the entire month he'd spent in a coma, yelling over and over inside his head.

"Hey hey hey, Hinata! How are you feeling?" he asked, a smile appearing on his lips. He was happy to hear his friend, and maybe chatting a little with him was going to lighten the mood of his day as well.

Their conversation, however, didn't last for as long as he would have wanted, because Hinata's mother appeared out of nowhere and told her son to hang up the phone. Apparently, he still wasn't allowed to spend too much time on the phone since he had injured his head pretty badly.

For a few minutes Bokuto played around with his phone, until he finally decided to try texting someone, hoping to be able to chat around a little. He opened his conversation with Kuroo, and only typed one word, all in caps: _BORED_. That word was accompanied by a gif image representing a cartoon character falling asleep and hitting his face against a table. He had to admit that such imagery perfectly represented how he was feeling at the moment.

He smiled a little while looking at the gif, but before Kuroo could even open the message, he heard someone enter his room. He raised his head to find his parents approaching his bed with smiling faces. The moment le laid eyes on them, his entire face brightened, immediately feeling way better than before.

"Sorry if we got here so late, Kou. There was a road block and we couldn't get through" his father explained, but at that point Bokuto didn't even care about the reason of their delay. All that mattered was that they were there with him.

As he finished hugging them both, being careful not to move his abdomen, he heard his phone vibrate, since he wasn't allowed to keep the sound on. He checked it immediately, noticing that Kuroo had replied to his text. _Hold on for a few more hours, I'm coming to see you after work. Akaashi gave me something for you_ , the text said. Bokuto was of course happy to read those words, and he couldn't wait to see Kuroo later in the day. He was indeed curious to find out what Akaashi wanted Kuroo to bring him.

* * *

His evening session of physical therapy was downright horrible. In the morning, Ennoshita had only moved his good leg, in order to awaken his muscles. In the evening, however, he went straight for the other one, and apparently Bokuto's body didn't accept the contact so easily. He tried to recoil because it hurt, but when he did that his upper body ached even more. Five minutes later he was screaming in pain, asking for his mother to take his hand. He was glad that, in such a tough moment, only his parents were with him, because he probably would have never accepted for any of his friends to see him like that; he would have died of embarrassment.

When Ennoshita left, telling him to rest, he was panting and he still had tears running down his cheeks. His father went to call a nurse, and soon he received a pretty high dose of pain medication in order to help him calm down. He was almost high on pain meds when Kuroo arrived, tagging his parents out and allowing them to go to dinner as he sat down beside Bokuto's bed. That was one of their usual routines: whenever Kuroo or Akaashi showed up after work, his parents took advantage of the situation in order to grab a bite to eat together. Otherwise they would have taken turns to eat, in order not to leave him alone. He really appreciated that demonstration of loyalty.

As soon as he was alone with Kuroo, the two of them exchanged a quick greeting and then his friend handed him a small shopping bag. Bokuto immediately looked inside the bag, finding six volumes of the manga about volleyball that Akaashi was recently editing. He was absolutely thrilled at the idea of being able to read it properly! Sure, he'd read most of the chapters already, but only as weekly issues in the magazine. He loved the idea of finally having them all together.

"Akaashi is the best!" he stated, raising his head to look at Kuroo, ready to thank him for bringing him the manga that Akaashi wanted him to have. He found his friend giving him an affectionate smile, and he couldn't stop himself from grinning at that. From Kuroo’s reaction to his comment about Akaashi, he could understand that the other definitely agreed with him. But Kuroo said nothing, meaning that he wasn’t just figuring out his feelings for Akaashi, he was actually confident about them. His friends really were together, then!

As they shared such a companionable moment, Bokuto suddenly remembered that there was something he needed to tell Kuroo on the subject of Akaashi. He wanted to give a superb speech, something that was going to inspire his friend's trust, to make the other confide in him, but he hadn't been able to prepare anything in advance, plus at the moment his brain was a little fuzzy because of the pain medication. Maybe it wasn't the right moment to speak, but he couldn't stop himself.

"You don't need to be jealous, by the way" he started to say, before interrupting himself to yawn. He wanted to tell Kuroo all about his conversation with Ennoshita, and the fact that the other wasn't a threat for his relationship with Akaashi, but suddenly any idea he had flew out of his mind. He was feeling more tired than he had thought, relaxed by the painkillers after the hard day that he'd had. Before he could continue his speech, he just drifted to sleep. The last thing he saw was Kuroo's face, red with embarrassment, as he was blinking in confusion.

* * *

In the middle of the night, Bokuto woke up screaming. At first he couldn't even realize where he was, or what was happening. The dream, after all, had been incredibly vivid. It wasn't the first time he relived the accident in the form of a nightmare, and every time he woke up terrified. The nurse on the night shift immediately rushed into his room, trying to calm him down, but Bokuto was too agitated. He had even jolted up to a sitting position, contracting his abdomen and hurting himself. The pain, however, was secondary to the fear he had at the moment. His heart was hammering in his chest, his breathing heavy, images of headlights in the night appearing every time he tried to close his eyes.

Like every time he woke up to nightmares of the accident, Bokuto was grumpy for the rest of the day. He snapped at Ennoshita during their morning session, to the point that the physical therapist had to cut the session short, informing Bokuto that he was only going to come back in the evening if he managed to calm down, because otherwise therapy was going to harm him instead of helping him. That knowledge only made Bokuto feel worse, though, and he spent the entire day sulking. Not even his parents could make him smile, or even talk. Needless to say, Ennoshita refused to come back for the evening session, just passing by to tell him that they were going to see each other in the morning.

In the evening, Akaashi went to visit him alone, allowing his parents to go to dinner. As his best friend sat down beside him, Bokuto was finally starting to feel a little better, even though he still wasn't talking. He listened to Akaashi talk about his day, and when the other asked if he'd liked his present, Bokuto finally hinted a smile. He still hadn't been able to read the manga volumes that Kuroo had brought him the evening before on Akaashi's behalf, but he was going to do it as soon as his mood got a little better.

"I'm glad to have you, you know. You and Kuroo" Bokuto said all of a sudden, giving Akaashi a smile. It was small, but it was still the best he could manage at the moment. "And you have my blessing. Even though I'm a little offended that you didn't tell me you're in love."

Akaashi winced at those words, going completely red in the face. "I'm sorry, what?" he asked, probably utterly surprised by Bokuto's statement. He received a smirk in reply.

"I know you, Akaashi. I know what you look like when you're in love. You used to look at me like that, a long time ago. I may have sustained head injuries, but I’m not braindead yet. I still notice things, you know. And I'm saying that it's okay. You don't need to hide it from me, even though you're doing a poor job at hiding anyway" Bokuto explained his point of view. He wanted to make sure Akaashi understood that Bokuto could handle his relationship, that he could talk about it freely.

"Bokuto-san, I don't have any idea of what you're talking about" Akaashi retorted, still blushing. His posture was rigid, a sign that he was probably just trying to deny what was right in front of him. Seriously, how long was he going to keep the act up?

Bokuto sighed, slightly shaking his head. "You and Kuroo. As I said, I approve" he insisted. He really didn't like the fact that Akaashi was playing dumb.

"Why do you need to approve my friendship with Kuroo-san?" the younger man asked again, slightly tilting his head to the side and giving Bokuto a very confused questioning look.

"Because it's not friendship and you know it! Come on, I thought we were best friends! Stop lying to me! I told you I can take the truth!" at that point, Bokuto was really getting irritated. Why was Akaashi being so stubborn? Also, in the beginning Bokuto had really thought that he was going to be gentle and not intrusive while talking to his friends about their possible relationship, but now he was _sure_ that they were actually together, and Akaashi was lying to his face, so keeping calm was out of the question: he needed his best friend to admit his feelings.

"I honestly don't have the slightest idea of what you're trying to say here" Akaashi continued along the same line, maintaining his usual composure while Bokuto was quickly losing his calm.

Before he could keep insisting, however, his parents walked back inside the room and the conversation died there. But one thing was sure: it wasn't over. He was going to make Akaashi confess, no matter what. Until the end of visiting hours, he kept glancing in Akaashi's direction, trying to read his body language. What he noticed was that his best friend definitely seemed to be embarrassed, and he was also avoiding eye contact with him. That was proof enough of the fact that he was right: Akaashi and Kuroo were a couple, and they were lying to him about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to talk about Haikyuu or Bokuroo, you can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/SuperEllen4)!


	8. Kuroo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for having missed the update last week. Unfortunately I'm going through a few very busy weeks, and I have to admit that I almost missed the update again this week. I would like to thank you all for you patience. I really hope things get lighter for me again soon, and that I'll be able to go back to writing. In fact, I haven't written a single word in days, which isn't like me at all. Anyway, I'll do my best to keep up with the updates from now on.

Kuroo's day at work had lasted forever. But he couldn't even complain about it out loud, because he was the one who had asked for so many days off, making everything pile up for way too long. And now he couldn't get to leave early whenever he wanted; on most days, he needed to stay until late and try to get rid of some backlog. It was almost his usual bedtime, as he parked his car and walked inside his apartment building. His head was hanging low and he was dragging his feet, so tired that he was surprised he could even walk at all. His day at work had been more exhausting than usual, and in addition to that he was starving, considering that he hadn’t even had any time to stop for dinner. At the moment, however, he was too tired to even think about eating, and he was considering the idea of going to bed on an empty stomach. He was just going to have a bigger breakfast in the morning and solve the problem that way. 

As he walked out of the elevator, fumbling with his keys to find the right one to open his door, his phone started ringing. He barely managed to take it out of his pocket without letting it fall to the ground, and it was a surprise for him to notice that Akaashi was the one calling him. He immediately answered.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked, half yawning as he talked.

"Sorry to bother you, are you home?" Akaashi asked, without even greeting him first. He could hear a tone of urgency in the other's voice, and that of course made Kuroo worry. After all, he knew that Akaashi was supposed to go visit Bokuto after work, and considering that visiting hours had been over for just a little while, it was obvious to assume that he had just walked out of the hospital. If he was calling like that, did it mean that something was wrong with Bokuto?

"I'm walking in right now" he replied, feeling himself tense up. There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line, then he heard Akaashi give his home address to someone. Was he in a taxi?

"Good, I'm coming over in a second. We need to talk" Akaashi then said. He didn't seem to be worried, or in panic. It meant that Bokuto wasn't dying or anything like that. Kuroo could finally relax, then. What he couldn't understand, however, was why Akaashi was coming to his house to talk at that time of night. He just wanted to go to bed! Couldn't his friend wait until morning? And what was so important that he couldn't tell Kuroo over the phone?

"Okay... but I can't promise I'll be awake when you get here" Kuroo mumbled, and he heard the other chuckle before they hung up.

As he put his phone back inside his pocket, Kuroo finally succeeded in opening the door and walked inside his apartment. He slowly toed off his shoes with no need to bend down and use his hands, then he deposited his keys on a shelf and zombie walked towards the living room couch. It was large enough for him to lie down on it comfortably, and that was exactly what he did. He didn't even take off his tie, he just let himself fall on the couch and almost dozed off right that instant.

When he heard the doorbell ring, he didn't have any intention of standing up. He mumbled that the door was open, eyes still closed, and soon he heard the door open and then close. His guest took off his shoes and then walked towards the living room, stopping a few feet away from the couch.

"That bad, uh?" Akaashi asked. When Kuroo opened an eye to look at the other man, he noticed that Akaashi was smiling at him.

"This has better be good... I'm about to pass out here" Kuroo mumbled, slurring his words a little. His voice was a little rough because of how much he needed to sleep at the moment.

"Well, this is going to wake you up" Akaashi stated, his voice sounding almost ironic. Which was rare, because that was Akaashi. Akaashi didn't do humor. That started to peak Kuroo's interest, even though he still didn't have the strength to raise his head completely.

Akaashi went to sit down on an armchair close by, taking a deep breath before he started talking. "I'm pretty sure that Bokuto-san believes you and I are together. Like, a couple" Akaashi finally blurted out.

Kuroo jumped up at attention. He stumbled because of the sudden movement and fell back with his ass on the couch, eyes wide open and staring at Akaashi. The other man was trying to suppress a laugh and almost failing at it.

"I told you this was going to wake you up" Akaashi commented, a smirk appearing on his face. Which was not something that was common for Akaashi, but at the moment Kuroo was more shocked by the other's words than by his facial expressions.

"What? Why in the hell would he think something like that?" Kuroo asked, a hint of desperation in his voice. The person he was in love with thought that he was in a relationship with someone else. That definitely wasn't a good sign for his feelings. It meant that he was probably going to hopelessly pine after Bokuto for a long time.

"No idea. He started saying some weird stuff about him being mad at me because I haven't told him that I'm in love, and at first I thought he caught up on the fact that I actually like someone that way. But then he started making less and less sense, and he ended up saying that you and I have his blessing, and that we don't need to hide our relationship from him" Akaashi explained, making Kuroo feel even more in disbelief.

With a desperate sigh, he rested both elbows on his knees and hid his face behind his hands. "I'm hopeless. If he wants me to be with you, then he will never love me back!" he whined. That was the perfect ending for his utterly crappy day. Work had almost killed him, and when he thought he had managed to get to the end of his day alive, Akaashi had told him something that had almost given him the finishing blow.

A few seconds later, the couch cushion beside him shifted, a sign that someone was sitting on it. At the same time, Akaashi wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Come on, not everything is lost. We just need to show him that we're not together, and soon enough you'll be able to confess to him" the other tried to boost his morale. It didn't work.

With a sigh, Kuroo let himself fall backwards into the couch cushions, his head landing on Akaashi's shoulder. The other wrapped him in his arms and just held him, a position that could have been awkward from an outsider perspective, but it had become a habit for the two of them. During Bokuto’s coma, Kuroo had spent so much time crying against Akaashi that now he was pretty sure there wasn't any place more comfortable than Akaashi's arms in his moments of weakness. And that, of course, was a moment of weakness. He was tired and demoralized, he just wanted his day to be over, therefore he automatically looked for Akaashi's shoulder and rubbed his cheek against it. A few seconds later he dozed off.

"Kuroo-san... Kuroo-san..." he barely heard Akaashi's voice call. "KUROOOOO-SAAAN!" Akaashi all but yelled in his ear, and that was more than enough to wake him up.

"What the hell..." he grumbled, raising his head and massaging his eyes. A yawn escaped his lips right after that, as he tried to focus his attention on Akaashi, who was frowning at him.

"Don't sleep on my shoulder" Akaashi scolded him, but the lines on his face relaxed a moment later. "Come on, I'll put you to bed and then I'll see myself out. We can finish our talk tomorrow."

After that, Akaashi stood up and pulled Kuroo up with him. Since he didn't have any strength left to argue, Kuroo just followed. Akaashi was mostly holding him up, and Kuroo was aware of the fact that he would have been perfectly able to walk on his own if only he had tried, but going completely limp and letting Akaashi drag him by force was way better. After all, it was Akaashi's fault if he wasn't already in bed asleep. The other, however, didn't complain; he just adjusted Kuroo's weight against his back and walked him to his bedroom. He seemed to be pretty at ease with carrying a man who was bigger than him; Kuroo smiled at the thought of how many times Akaashi had been forced to carry Bokuto like that in order to get so used to it. And Bokuto, with all his muscles, was way heavier than Kuroo.

Once they reached the bedroom, Akaashi helped Kuroo sit on the bed and took off his tie and belt, and then he undid the first two buttons of Kuroo's shirt, who finally felt able to breathe better. After that, he pushed Kuroo down on the bed, still dressed in his three-piece suit, and covered him up with a blanket. Oh yes, Akaashi was the perfect friend. Kenma would have let him fall face first on the living room floor, leaving him to sleep there, and he would have kept both the blanket and Kuroo's bed for himself. With affection, of course.

"Good night. I'll call you tomorrow, okay? Let's get dinner together, and we'll finish our talk" Akaashi said as he walked towards the door.

As he tried to remember what words he needed to use in order to accept the invitation, his mind already drifting back into sleep, he remembered something that Akaashi had said while they were talking in the living room. Something that was making him curious to find out more.

"Hey, earlier you said that you do like someone. Who are they?" he tried to ask, his words coming out so slurred that Akaashi was probably going to have problems understanding them.

"I have no idea of what you're talking about" Akaashi tried to dissimulate, but his voice sounded tense, like a child who had been caught with his hands in the cookie jar. That was the last thing Kuroo noticed before falling asleep. He didn't even hear Akaashi close the door when he left.

* * *

The following day, Kuroo had horrible bags under his eyes. He hadn't slept badly, but he sure could have used a few more hours. He really couldn't wait for the weekend to arrive, because barely half the week had passed and he was already too tired to go on. As he showered and got dressed in a fresh suit for work, Akaashi's words from the previous night kept ringing in his head. Bokuto thought that Kuroo and Akaashi were a couple, and he was okay with it. He had told as much to Akaashi.

Kuroo hated it. He would have given anything for Bokuto to just want him back. Weeks ago, Kuroo had decided that he was going to confess to the other as soon as possible, and see where things could get from there. He just needed to wait for the right moment to do it, and that moment certainly couldn't be while Bokuto was lying in a hospital bed, feeling bad because he wasn't improving as much as he wanted during his physical therapy sessions. He still had to wait a little longer, he needed to be patient.

Although, that new revelation from the night before changed pretty much everything. He couldn't confess his love to someone who thought he was dating someone else. He needed Bokuto to understand that there was nothing between himself and Akaashi, first. And after that he could go back to worrying about finding the right time to come clean.

With that thought in mind, Kuroo started his day at work with the wrong foot. He consumed an obscene amount of caffeine, and he hoped to be allowed to leave at a decent time. He wanted to see Bokuto, and he still needed to finish his talk with Akaashi. During the morning he texted the younger man, thanking him for putting him to bed and asking him at what time he thought he could get off from work, in order to finish their conversation and then go visit Bokuto together.

Once they had agreed on a time, Kuroo spent the rest of his working day waiting for that moment to come. He even got distracted while he was working, his head going back to Akaashi's words from the night before. He really couldn't shake off that unpleasant sensation that knowing Bokuto wanted him with Akaashi had left on him.

When it was finally time to leave, he took his car and went to pick up Akaashi from work, as they had agreed via text messages. He miraculously found a parking spot not too far, since someone was leaving in that exact moment, and he walked towards the building that housed the offices of the magazine Akaashi worked for. He didn't go in though, he just texted his friend that he was outside and waited there for the other to arrive. It didn't take long before he could see the younger man approaching the glass door at the entrance of the building, and he got ready to greet him. That was when he noticed Akaashi wasn't alone, but he was actually having a conversation with someone else. It looked like they were chatting amicably, all polite smiles and formality. The other guy seemed to be a little older than Akaashi but way shorter, with long black hair, and he was slouching. Kuroo had never seen him before.

As the two approached the glass door, Akaashi noticed Kuroo's presence and greeted him with a gesture of his hand. Kuroo returned the greeting with a smile on his face, gesturing with his hand as well. When the other two walked past the door, they both stopped in front of him, their conversation ending the moment they joined Kuroo. For a moment, he even wondered what they might have been talking about. There was a second of awkward silence, then Akaashi introduced the two of them.

The moment he heard the name of the other man, so casually spoken, Kuroo almost choked on his own saliva. Udai Tenma. _The_ Udai Tenma. The author of his favorite manga was standing in front of him, smiling politely in his direction, head slightly bowed in a sign of respect, and Kuroo was one step away from losing his composure. He was excited, like a child at an amusement park.

"It's an honor to meet you, Udai-san. An honor! I can't believe you're here. Like, I'm a huge fan of your work. And of volleyball, so yes, thank you for the wonderful story you decided to draw" he started blabbering, almost munching on his own words. Beside him, Akaashi smiled, probably amused by his reaction. The older man, however, seemed to be embarrassed.

"Oh, come on, there's no need for that, please. I just draw a story based on my biggest passion, and I'm glad that other people like it too" Udai said, giving a polite smile even though he was blushing. Kuroo had probably come out a little too strong, considering the situation. He was afraid of the possibility of Akaashi reprimanding him for it later, but at the moment his friend didn't seem to be upset because of his behavior, which was a good thing.

"Your style is so good! I'm glad there is a manga like yours out there, and I can't wait to read the next chapter! Your main character is great, and his team is just fantastic. My favorite character is the captain, though" Kuroo kept on saying, and Udai only smiled more at that.

"The main character is based on Hinata-kun, because he made me remember the dreams I had when I was in high school. The captain is based on Bokuto-san" Udai explained, and in just a second all color left Kuroo's face.

Well, he didn't know that. Sure, he thought that the character of the captain reminded him of Bokuto at least a little, but he had never imagined that the author might have actually based the character on him. He was sure that he was the only one who could see the resemblance because he was so obsessed with Bokuto that he saw the other everywhere, but apparently it wasn't just him. The manga artist had actually put a little of Bokuto inside that character. That newfound knowledge only made him love the character even more. As for the main character, he had figured that he was some kind of Hinata, and he really liked him. He wondered, however, if Hinata knew that he was the one who had inspired Udai to draw that manga in the first place.

"Well, Bokuto is an amazing person, he can only make an amazing character" Kuroo mumbled, making Udai respond with a quick nod, a sign that he was probably taking the conversation on such a personal level that he was making the older man uncomfortable. The other didn't have any kind of relationship with Bokuto, after all, so that topic of discussion might have caused him discomfort, and it wasn't the polite thing to do.

"Okay then, I think it's time for us to go" Akaashi intervened in order to interrupt the awkwardness, putting a hand on Kuroo's arm in order to catch his attention. Kuroo eyed him with gratitude, before turning to face Udai once again.

"Yes, it's time for us to go. Udai-san, it's been a genuine pleasure" Kuroo said, trying to regain as much composure as possible.

"The pleasure was mine, Kuroo-san. Have a good evening. Oh, and Akaashi-san, please pass on my regards to Bokuto-san" Udai said as a goodbye, bowing his head a little. Akaashi mimicked his gesture with all the seriousness and formality he was capable of.

"Of course. See you tomorrow, Udai-san" Akaashi put an end to the conversation. After that, they went their separate ways, Kuroo and Akaashi towards Kuroo's car, while Udai crossed the street and soon disappeared among the crowd on the sidewalk.

As they walked together side by side, and later as they sat in the car, Kuroo noticed something, even though he didn't think much of it. Akaashi was still smiling, a rare occurrence for him. Sure, Kuroo had learned that Akaashi could indeed smile from time to time, but he wasn't the kind of person who let a smile linger for long. That was actually the first time he was witnessing something like that, and it was interesting. Kuroo's thoughts, however, didn't dwell on that knowledge. He had his head full of something else entirely; something that he needed to get off his chest.

"I'm not sure I can read that manga the same way as I did before, now that I know my favorite character is based on Bokuto" Kuroo stated as he was turning on the engine of his car.

"Why? I was sure you liked that character because of Bokuto-san in the first place" Akaashi commented in reply to his words, making Kuroo sigh.

"Yes, and that's the problem. Now that I know he's actually based on Bokuto, I'll be pining after a manga character like an idiot!" Kuroo whined. Akaashi coughed, and Kuroo was pretty sure that the other was using that action in order to hide a laugh. Well, at least he was being nice enough not to laugh in Kuroo's face.

"You'll stop pining after a manga character once you can have Bokuto-san for real" Akaashi finally said after he was done coughing, and therefore laughing.

"Which is easier said than done, you know? Especially because now apparently he thinks that I'm in love with you, and this thought is giving me an apocalyptic headache" Kuroo kept complaining, as he drove towards the hospital. It was still too early for dinner, so they could maybe talk now, then visit Bokuto, and have dinner together later, after visiting hours.

"I think I understand why he thinks you and I are together. We've known each other for how many years now? And we barely exchanged two words with each other during those years, always communicating only because Bokuto-san was there as well. Now, all of a sudden, we're always together. Maybe that's how his brain is putting the pieces together. It's easier for him to think that we fell in love instead of seeing that we've just become friends" was Akaashi's explanation, which actually made pretty much sense. Kuroo nodded in silence, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he pondered on a reply to give.

"This means that if we show him we're not a couple he will understand that we're just friends, and everything will go back to normal, right?" Kuroo finally tried to communicate to the other, after reflecting on it for a while.

Akaashi nodded. "I think we need to confront him on this matter. Let him know that we're not interested in each other. I don't want him to get strange ideas in his head. You know how he is, and I don't want to end up like Tsukishima-kun when Bokuto-san decided that he needed to date his friend Yamaguchi-kun. Sometimes I still wonder how Bokuto-san has managed to survive Tsukishima-kun's wrath" he said, a smile appearing on his face.

Hearing the other reminisce on that specific moment, Kuroo couldn't do anything other than laugh. He didn't even try to contain himself, he just let out an amused laugh that almost made him lose control of the car. He steadied his grip on the steering wheel, though, and after that moment of weakness he did his best to contain his laughter. It had been hilarious. It was back when Bokuto and Akaashi were still together, at the beginning of their second year out of high school. They'd all invited themselves to summer training camp, together with some other alumni from both Nekoma and Fukurodani, in order to form a team that could play a few matches against the current teams, and that was when Bokuto had started to pester Tsukki. Kuroo had found the situation incredibly amusing, but Tsukki not so much. He'd even gotten mad, so embarrassed he was. Akaashi had been the one who intervened to save Bokuto from Tsukki, when the other had crossed the line a little too much.

But yes, maybe Akaashi had a point. Bokuto couldn't get into his matchmaking state of mind, because when he convinced himself that two people belonged together, there was no way to make him understand that it wasn't the case. Tsukki had tried to tell him a thousand times that he was straight, that he wasn't interested in Yamaguchi, but Bokuto hadn't been able to hear a word the other said. It would have been a problem, if he'd started to act the same way with Kuroo and Akaashi. And since he was already having the wrong idea of the situation, it was better to quickly change his mind before it was too late.

"I don't think I can survive what he did to poor Tsukki. Even though watching it from the outside was hilarious" Kuroo finally said in reply to Akaashi's words. From the corner of his eye, he noticed the other man shake his head with a sigh. He obviously disapproved of Bokuto's attitude towards Tsukki, and of Kuroo's approval of it, but whatever.

"Let's talk to him today, okay? Together. We can give him a speech about our friendship, to let him understand what brought us together and how much we aren’t a suitable match as a couple" Akaashi suggested.

It was actually a great idea. All Kuroo needed to do, at that point, was to think about what to say. How could he explain that he wasn't interested in Akaashi without saying that he was in love with someone else? Because that, of course, wasn't the right moment to confess his love to Bokuto. And if he said that he had feelings for someone else, Bokuto would have asked who that person was, and Kuroo wouldn't have been able to lie to him, because Bokuto would have read right through him. 

What about Akaashi, though? What kind of tactics did he intend to use in order to deflect Bokuto's attention? As he considered the options, Kuroo remembered once again something that Akaashi had told him the night before, about the fact that there was someone he actually liked _that way_. If they both told Bokuto that they were in love with someone else, he might have gotten off their case, but since Kuroo couldn't of course say that, they needed to find another way to make Bokuto understand that they weren't made for each other.

"We need to agree on what to say, though, before we go inside" Kuroo finally stated as he slowed down the car inside the hospital parking lot. Akaashi nodded in agreement, and for that reason they remained inside the parked car for ten more minutes before they finally decided to go in.

* * *

As usual, when Kuroo and Akaashi walked inside Bokuto's room for their evening visit, they found their friend's parents by his side. Bokuto, however, looked even grumpier than he had any other time that Kuroo had been there before, and he had no idea of what might have caused that attitude to surface. He quickly checked the time on his phone, realizing that Bokuto's physical therapy had probably just ended. Did something go wrong during his session with Ennoshita?

Beside him, Akaashi exchanged a few looks with Bokuto's parents. He had spent so much time inside their house that he was probably able to communicate with them telepathically, at that point. Kuroo, on the other hand, didn't know Bokuto's family so well, and he just gave them a confused look as they kept on their stare contest with Akaashi. In the meantime, Bokuto had his arms crossed against his chest and he was looking outside the window, not even saying hello to his best friends after they arrived. Trying to understand what was wrong in his own way, Kuroo walked closer to the bed.

"Hey Bo, what happened?" he asked, his voice calm and amicable. He tried his best not to make any jokes, because he knew that Bokuto's mood was incredibly volatile, and sometimes his jokes could lighten the atmosphere and make Bokuto feel better, but other times they only made things worse. Therefore, he knew that he always needed to remain as neutral as possible before he figured out what had put Bokuto in such a mood.

His friend turned around to look at him, and his eyes shone with tears the moment they met with Kuroo's. That was definitely a strange turn of events, considering that usually Bokuto was either grumpy or sad, almost never both at the same time. Bokuto's bottom lip was trembling, and he kept his lips strongly pressed together. Kuroo offered him a hand, and Bokuto gladly grabbed it, holding onto it as if his life depended on it. It even hurt a little, since he was now squeezing Kuroo's hand with both of his. Kuroo tried not to think about the pain, and he brought his other hand to cover Bokuto's.

"You can talk to me" Kuroo whispered, letting his friend know that they could also have privacy to talk if he wanted to. After all, Akaashi was still trying to understand the situation from Bokuto's parents with a game of gazes, which Kuroo didn't find interesting at all.

"Later. When my parents leave for dinner. It's embarrassing" Bokuto breathed out, his voice so low that Kuroo had to lean towards him a little in order to hear what the other was saying. Kuroo nodded, then turned towards the other people in the room.

"It's getting late, isn't it time for dinner already?" he threw his words out there, waiting for Bokuto's parents to take the bait. He wanted them to leave, but he couldn't of course ask them to go. He didn't want to attract the attention on the fact that Bokuto wanted to talk to his friends without his parents there, and he didn't want to be rude either.

Luckily, Bokuto's parents gave an affirmative reply to the suggestion that Kuroo had hidden between the lines of what he had just said, and soon they left. Akaashi immediately glared at Kuroo, probably unsatisfied because he hadn't been able to understand what the problem was. He didn't say a word, however, when he noticed Bokuto relax a little once his parents were gone. Kuroo didn't miss that reaction as well, and immediately Bokuto's hold on his hand wasn't trying to cut off his circulation anymore.

"It's okay Bo, it's just us now. What's wrong?" Kuroo tried to ask him again at that point, his voice calm and almost sweet. Akaashi got closer as well, stopping at the foot of Bokuto's bed, while Kuroo was standing at his friend's right. Bokuto seemed to spend some time thinking about it, maybe wondering if it was a good idea to talk about what happened. In the end, he decided to talk.

"It's about Hinata. And it's a selfish thing, so I didn't want my parents to hear it because I don't want them to think that they raised a spoiled, shallow brat" Bokuto mumbled, eyes looking at their intertwined hands.

Kuroo raised the hand that wasn't wrapped in Bokuto's and used it to ruffle his friend's hair; he was still wearing it down, since apparently hair gel wasn't allowed for patients inside the hospital. Bokuto gave him a hint of a smile that saddened immediately after.

"Hinata is leaving. The doctors said that he's fine now, that he should go straight to the hospital if he experiences any dizziness, but other than that he can resume volleyball practice now. And today he told me that he'll be leaving Japan soon, if everything goes fine with his practice. Even if I manage to get back on the court at some point, it will still be too late. He will be gone, and I won't be able to play with him anymore" Bokuto explained.

It made sense. They'd been teammates for a few years now, and it was only logical that Bokuto was going to miss the other. Kuroo, however, could see something else behind his friend's eyes. It was a sense of longing, and maybe... anger? There was another thing that caught Kuroo's attention: Bokuto had said _if_ he managed to get back on the court, not _when_. Did it mean that Bokuto was losing faith in his recovery? Up until that moment, he'd always told the doctors that he didn't accept their prognosis, that he was going to play again. Was it possible that he was finally starting to accept it?

"It's okay, you're going to miss your friend. You're going to miss playing with him. It's normal" Akaashi said, giving Bokuto a minute smile. Bokuto looked towards his best friend, but soon after his eyes went back to Kuroo, crushing his hand even more between both of his.

"You don't understand. Sure, I'll miss him, and I'll miss playing with him. But mostly... I envy him. Because he's finally able to play again, and I don't even know if I'm ever going to get there again. Sometimes I wish that he'd been injured as much as me, because now there would be two of us suffering the same way. And I hate myself for thinking something like this, because it's childish and it's almost evil, I love Hinata too much to wish him any harm, but at times I do anyway" Bokuto finally admitted, lowering his head and letting go of the tears.

Kuroo immediately looked for Akaashi's gaze, and he found the other observing him as well. The two exchanged a knowing look, because they were probably thinking the same thing: not seeing enough progress in his recovery, Bokuto was about to hit rock bottom. And they needed to be there for him, all the way, because he was never going to get past it alone. Then Kuroo's gaze fell once again on Bokuto, who was sobbing loudly as he still held Kuroo's hand.

He sighed, trying not to think about the ache in his chest that he felt while seeing Bokuto in that pitiful condition. Then he moved even closer, and he followed what his instinct was telling him to do. He sat on Bokuto's bed, resting his back against his friend's pillows, trying to find a comfortable position that would not disturb Bokuto too much. That got the other's attention, because Bokuto raised his gaze to Kuroo's face, wet eyes full of confusion, and his hands began to let go of Kuroo's. 

Once he was free to pull his hand back, Kuroo opened his arms in a clear invite, and a moment later Bokuto was sobbing against his chest. He wrapped his friend in his arms, holding him close but trying at the same time not to hurt him, considering how fragile his body still was.

"It's okay... it's okay..." he kept whispering, as he used both arms to give Bokuto's body soothing caresses. He leaned his head so that it was closer to Bokuto's, not resting it on top of the other's because he was still afraid to hurt Bokuto in some way, but at the same time he started kissing Bokuto's head delicately. His heart was breaking all over again seeing the man he loved in that state, and he needed to do something in order to make the other feel better. He would have held Bokuto like that for the rest of his days, if that was going to help the love of his life feel somehow better.

Akaashi got closer as well, stepping to the other side of the bed and caressing Bokuto's left arm. Bokuto was crumbling to pieces, and Kuroo knew that he wasn't emotionally equipped to deal with it. He looked for Akaashi's eyes, and only then he realized that he couldn't see very well. His own eyes were becoming blurry, and that could only mean one thing: he was barely holding back his own tears. Akaashi gave him a sympathetic smile, and Kuroo tried to draw a little strength from that.

Of course they couldn't talk to Bokuto in such a situation. They needed to wait for a better moment in order to do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to talk about Haikyuu or Bokuroo, you can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/SuperEllen4)!


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